SUDDENLY, THE NOSE MONSTER SNEEZED A SNEEZE THAT WAS SO GIGANTIC IT BLEW HIM ACROSS THE ROOM, WHERE HE LANDED WITH A THUMP! AFTER A MINUTE, HE STRAIGHTENED HIMSELF AND STARTED TO SNIFF. HE TOUCHED HIS ENORMOUS NOSE, WHICH WAS NO LONGER RED.
Thoughts: Look at all those tissues! Either the Nose Monster is a chronic masturbater or he has a bad cold. Oh wait, make that *had* a bad cold. Apparently when your nose is red and inflamed due to sickness, snorting pepper will somehow make it better. I wonder why my doctor never told me that and I wonder what else he isn't telling me. I don't have any proof yet, but I've always secretly believed that having sex with a cancer patient can cure AIDS. The reason the general public doesn't know this yet is because the big bad drug companies bought the research papers and buried them so that they can continue selling expensive drug cocktails to people like Tom Hanks' character from Philadelphia. If you don't believe me, Al Franken and Tim Robbins are both willing to corroborate.