SydLexia.com

8/4/2005

Fun With Search Engines #28: Days Later…

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 11:15 pm

      Well, the forums still aren’t up and the latest article still isn’t quite done, but I’m back with yet another installment of Fun With Search Engines. As always, these are real queries that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE report covers the week starting 7/24 and ending 7/30.
 
1. poison 80s rock band - Dear God, I seem to have stumbled upon a secret internet plot to kill Night Ranger with cyanide pills. FUCK! That, or this person was searching for information on an actual 80s rock band called Poison who kicked all kinds of ass. Personally, I think the cyanide plot is more plausible.

2. ninja costume pattern how to - What the fuck? How goddam hard is it to make a ninja costume? Buy a black sheet. Wrap yourself in it. Abraca-fucking-dabra, you’re a ninja.

3. who can beat ryu - Anyone, if you’re good enough. Ken and Akuma are both much cooler anyway.

4. ninja boss giant jump throw - Again with the goddam ninjas. You know, before the internet existed, ninjas were cool. Now inbred retards who can barely string together a sentence throw around the word ninja like it’s a frisbee in the campus quad.

5. moonwalker michael sega penis - To the best of my knowledge, Sega has never made a game with cock in it aside from Amy Rose Hentai Adventure Plus. And since I just made that last one up, that brings the grand total of X-rated Sega games to ZERO. However, I think Sega Penis is my new favorite phrase.

6. transcripts laguna beach mtv - Since this search came up again, I’ve decided to provide a complete transcript of the entire series. Enjoy.

    Lauren Conrad: I hope watching my life makes you feel bad about your own pathetic existence!
    Kristin Cavallari: I am retarded and one-dimensional.
    Stephen Coletti: Let’s go skinnydipping, bitches!
 
7. prepubescent boy pictures - No. NO. NO! DIE.

And that’s how we do it. Tune in next week.

6 Comments

  • Posted by Tebor on August 6th, 2005 at 2:10 am  

    Speaking of Ninjas and southerns (Texans mainly), I was watching Sidekicks again (which I realized is one of the first 100 movies I ever saw) and realized that I knew pretty much all the principle cast members from other movies and there are A LOT OF NINJAS in that movie. SWEET. Mako and Chuck Norris rule. And the kid from Neverending Story II… I mean, SeaQues… I mean, IT.

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on August 6th, 2005 at 6:01 am  

    Jonathan Brandis? He’s dead, you know.

  • Posted by Valdronius on August 7th, 2005 at 4:52 pm  

    In case anyone cares, Ross Hull is a weatherman now.

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on August 7th, 2005 at 7:18 pm  

    Can you get footage of it? “Submitted for the approval of Ontario residents… I call this story, The Tale of The Impending Snowstorm!”

  • Posted by Valdronius on August 7th, 2005 at 9:48 pm  

    It might be a little difficult to get footage, but I’ll try my darndest.
    Here’s his bio from the website:
    http://www.theweathernetwork.com/tv/personalities/oncall.htm

  • Posted by Tebor on August 8th, 2005 at 1:24 am  

    Ya know, while I was watching Sidekicks I would tell anyone who came into the room: “That kid killed himself. He was in the Neverending Story II and IT.” I think he’ll most be remembered for that suicide.


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