SydLexia.com

5/25/2005

Fun With Search Engines #20: Former President Andrew Jackson Is Dead

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 5:45 am

      Out of perceived obligation, FWSE is back once again with another week’s worth of searches. As always, these are actual keywords that visitors to the site typed into real search engines. Most of them were Google or Yahoo, but there are still people out there using Lycos and Alta Vista, if you can believe it. This is the search report for May 15 - May 21. Enjoy.

1. bad dudes vs dragon ninja president screenshot - As seen in the second part of my Bad Dudes article, President Ronnie looks an awful lot like Ronald Reagan. The only difference is that Real Reagan had black hair while President Ronnie is a brunette. The hair color change probably has something to do with the fact that when you first see him, he is emerging from a darkened helicopter.

2. www.nickoldeon.com - Ah yes, Nickelodeon. The first network for kids and the only network whose name is a bitch to spell. Who’s brilliant fucking idea was it to give the channel a name that most eight year olds can’t spell correctly? If they wanted to go with words that kids can’t spell, why not Antidisestablishmentarianism: The Network For Kids? That would have been a cool name.

3. blaze fielding hentai - Sadly enough, there’s hentai out there featuring just about every other female video game and cartoon character so there’s probably Streets of Rage hentai too. But you won’t find it here. Oops, changed my mind:

4. sly cooper hentai - In order for there to be Sly Cooper hentai, someone would have actually have had to liked those god awful games.

5. eternal champions rancid - As this person has surely learned by now, Rancid was in Time Killers, not Eternal Champions. Time Killers was sort of playable, but Eternal Champions has always sucked ass.

6. how do you get the old fashioned reptile on mortal kombat deadly alliance for x box - You don’t. According to the MK storyline, Reptile has been devolving since MK4. In Deadly Alliance, he is far too lizard-like to conceal his appearance. If Reptile returns in the seventh Mortal Kombat game, Ed Boon will probably come up with a reason to include the classic green ninja outfit.

7. loud screaming girls videos - Who in their right mind would search for this? What, are you starting a boy band and you need footage of screaming girls to splice in so that it looks like people give a shit about you? If so, you’re fucked. Boy bands are so 1999.

And that’s the end of that chapter.

4 Comments

  • Posted by doodoobrova on May 26th, 2005 at 10:07 pm  

    That sweet sweet bush is starting to give me a hard on. Blaze Fielding you’ll be mine some day. One glorious morn we shall walk up and down my private beach doing backflips and rubbing piss clams all over each others ass.

  • Posted by Tebor on May 27th, 2005 at 11:55 pm  

    Thanks for giving the world some more Blaze hentai.

    BTW, I make screaming girl videos. It’s quite profeitable and could help with some “funding” for this site. Then it’ll be all nice and commercial. Like Wayne’s World in that movie by the same name!

  • Posted by Tebor on May 31st, 2005 at 5:53 pm  

    What game is “Linda” from from those Nintendo fun packs? I think it’s Double Dragon, but the Linda in that game was an ugly old ho. I guess it’s the same game with Princess Lana…

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on May 31st, 2005 at 6:52 pm  

    Indeed, it is supposed to be Linda from Double Dragon. She apparently lost a lot of weigh for her promo photo.


Reply to this post

You must be logged in to post a comment.