Fun With Search Engines #19: Louis Sacchar Was Cool Before “Holes”

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 12:01 am

There is no Mrs. Zarves. There is no 19th FWSE. Sorry.

Just kidding. You know the intro, because it rarely varies. This is the FWSE for May 8th - May 14th. As always, these are real keywords that visitors to my site typed into real search engines. Blah blah blah yackety schmackety. Here it goes.

1. history of sabertooth tigers - The first known sabertooth tiger was a personal pet of Fred Flinstone who lived during the Madeaupic Period (50,000 - 30,000 B.C.) when humans, dinosaurs, and prehistoric mammals lived together in harmony and rode around in foot-powered cars. Sadly, sabertooth tigers are now extinct. The last known sabertooth tiger died in a car accident in San Francisco on September 3, 2001.

2. pepsi blue and crystal clear pepsi failed - They didn’t really fail, they just sorta gave up. Like Woody Allen. Oddly enough, Pepsi Blue also married his adopted Korean daughter.

3. u can’t do that on television - Actually, it was called You Can’t Do That On Television. We spelled things correctly in the 80s, dammit. Well except for M.C. Hammer and Quiet Riot.

4. videos de november rain de aerosmith - First of all, Guns N’ Roses did “November Rain”. Secondly, good luck translating this page through Google. Since I don’t allow remoting linking of my images, the result is quite catastrophic. The translation probably sucks anyway.

5. trey anastasio heroin - This has been coming up for months. What the fuck? I’m sorry, but right now the only fish I have room for on the site are the Sharkticons.

6. umk3_fatalities - Luckily for you, search engines don’t register underscores. I’m currently one of only three sites that shows up when you search for the string “umk3 fatalities”. I doubt a lot of people search for that string, but it’s still cool.

secret plot hentai - This is apparently referring to a manga that’s actually called Secret Plot, but I have a pretty good feeling that hentai is some sort of evil plan by the Japanese. I don’t know what its ultimate goal is, but it’s probably not good.

      As it always does, FWSE has ended. See you again next week for FWSE. Hopefully it’ll go up on Monday and not Saturday.


  • Posted by cybersst on May 21st, 2005 at 1:15 pm  

    Wayside Books reign supreme. Here is the English retranslation of the Spanish translation of the first paragraph of you Use Your Illusion article that was originally written in English.

  • Posted by Tebor on May 22nd, 2005 at 12:26 am  

    Wayside School needs to be a “sold out” TV show on ABC Family. Don’t worry, Wayside School gets a little stranger had THREE chapter 19s to make up for the lack there of in the previous books.

    Trini was the best Sabertooth tiger.

  • Posted by doodoobrova on May 22nd, 2005 at 1:45 am  

    Power Rangers? That bitch is dead, probably of shame.

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