Fun With Search Engines XIV: The More You Know

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 10:01 pm

      As I sat down to do the FWSE for 4/03 - 4/09, I decided now would be as a good a time as any to explain how it works. Each day, I get a series of site reports in PNG, HTML, and text format. The PNGs are the easiest to read but are the detailed whereas the text file that logs daily site access is a lot more complete but largelt innavigable. So, every day I get a pie chart titled searchq.png that lists a decent amount of the queries people who visited typed into search engines. The charts look like this:

      Above is a pie chart of search queries that brought people to on 04/06/05. As you can see, it only gives you the top 10 search queries that brought people to the site that day and then the rest fall into the “Other” category. It’s not perfect, but it gives me a good idea as to how many people found the site through search engines that day. To see what the other searches were, I open up a companion HTML file and I get this. You are seeing exactly what I see every morning, right down to the broken image placeholder. Sometimes there are some many search queries that they’re not all listed in the HTML file either. When that happens, that report also gives me a tally of how many queries aren’t listed. Unless I’m really nored, I generally don’t go searching the access log to see which ones weren’t listed. OK, enough learning. Now onto FWSE 14, my most half-assed one yet!

1. are you afraid of the dark makes the barrel lighter - Does it? Does it REALLY?

2. video de november rain - I took about 6 years of French, mais je ne parle pas français très bien. Zut alors!

3. jacko on his backo snl - If you thought I was above highlighting a search query that appeared in the previously featured pie chart, you were wrong.

4. puzzle fighter 2 final boss - That would be Akuma and his drop pattern is ridiculous. Read a goddam FAQ. That, or suck less at video games.

5. fat bald guy snk - Oh, like that narrows it down. You’re a douchebag.

6. play super mario game with real people - When I was ten, I promised myself if I ever became rich that I would build a life-size replica of Super Mario Bros. Level 1-1 on a soundstage somewhere. There wouldn’t be any enemies and the “bottomless” pits would be 10 feet deep and heavily padded, but it would still be badass. Since I don’t forsee myself having frivolous amounts of money any time soon, you’ll have to settle for Pac-Manhattan.

7. girl wrestlers in hot shorts - First of all, I believe they’re called hot pants, not hot shorts. Secondly, this is the fucking internet. Search for some hardcore porn and be done with it.

And that’s the end of the chapter.


  • Posted by Tebor on April 14th, 2005 at 12:19 am  

    This reminds me, are you going to do any other reviews of Are You Afraid of the Dark episodes? Not that I need them as I bootlegged every episode ever aired, but I enjoy your humorous approaches.

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on April 14th, 2005 at 5:41 am  

    Yeah, there are definitely some other episodes I’d like to do. For variety purposes, I’ll probably do at least one episode of some other shows like Hey Dude! first.

  • Posted by cybersst on April 15th, 2005 at 10:58 pm  

    Wild and Crazy Kids?

  • Posted by Tebor on April 15th, 2005 at 11:54 pm  

    Nick Arcade!

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on April 16th, 2005 at 9:54 am  

    Whether or not I do any of the old Nick game shows hinges squarely on whether or not I can obtain captures of them that don’t have the obnoxious Nick GAS logo in the corner.

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