Fun With Search Engines the 13th: Jason Takes

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 8:22 pm

      Another week has gone by, so it’s time for yet another FWSE report. Here are just some of the search engines queries that brought people to my site between 3/27/05 and 04/02/05:

1. rilo kiley budnick - Actually, it’s Pinskey who’s in Rilo Kiley. That’s all I have to say about that; not every Salute Your Shorts reference needs to turn into a cheap plug for the Donkeylips petition.

2. van halen fucking eddie money on a gigantic pile of money - This was an obvious April Fools’ Day joke, but it was too funny not to print. Props go out to cybersst for creating such an incomprehensibly bizarre phrase using only words found in my Smash TV article.

3. - this comes up almost every day and I have no fucking clue why. It happened before that web address appeared anywhere on, but publishing the phrase in my FWSE report certainly hasn’t helped things. The second article that I wrote for the site was on the game Time Killers, but that’s two words and it doesn’t fucking end in dotcom. The weirdest part is that there is no, it redirects to some Swedish page. I would guess that either someone is messing with me or it’s a bot. In the unlikely case that someone out there is looking for a way to kill time, there’s always Fuck, I mean read my site.

4. schiavo kombat -fate - I have no idea what in the hell that is supposed to mean, but I assure you that it was a real search from 04/02.

5. smb:the fall of luigi - This person was looking for this or a sequel to it. If the aforementioned person had used Yahoo, it would have been the #1 result. Instead, Person X used Google where it didn’t even make the first page of results. did though. Thank you, Google. Your terrible page ranking system has generated more than a few hits for this site.

6. plot of twins 100 words arnold schwarzenegger devito - That sounds like something I could do. So here it is, Twins in 100 words: Twins is about two fraternal twins, Vincent and Julius Benedict who were separated at birth. Julius lived on an island for most of his life and he has an accent because he was raised by a foreign scientist. Eventually he grows weary of islandry and goes to America to find Vincent. Julius knows many things, such as the rules for dealing with a crisis situation, but he is very naïve when it comes to the real world. A lot of things happen in the movie and then it ends. I give Twins three and a half out of five stars.

7. nancy everhard - I’ve been trying to ignore this one because it’s already been mentioned in several FWSE reports. In fact, the only time that Nancy Everhard has ever been mentioned on my site is in FWSE reports. Recently, one of my best friends confessed to being part of a conspiracy of indeterminate size that is bent on slowly driving me insane by making Everhard come up in the daily site reports that I get. Well met.

8. preteens fucking - The week wouldn’t be complete without some random sicko visiting my site by accident. If your IP is, then with any luck the FBI is kicking down your goddam door right now. Have a nice day.

      Well, that’s that. It’s getting harder and harder to do these. In the early days when I had very little content, I got very few visitors through search engines and most of them were oddball searches. These days there are more searches for me to sift through and most of them are pretty straightforward. Those people out there searching for alasdair gillis and smb2 enemies are my target audience. Still, I have no plans of stopping FWSE in the forseeable future. That’s it for now. I’m off to think about whether or not I really want to drink the bottle of soda featured in the latest comic.

One Comment

  • Posted by Tebor on April 6th, 2005 at 10:54 pm  

    With all the kiddie porn requests, I can’t imagine their great disappointment. I’d suggest giving them what they want, but the 80s/early 90s is SO much better… and legal. And Jesus loves Streets of Rage and Salute Your Shorts. Damn, every pedophile should be so lucky to find this site. It could cure Jennings’ cancer!

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