SydLexia.com

3/30/2005

Fun With Search Engines Part XII: 5² - 20 + 7

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 2:00 pm

It seems like only half a week ago that I did FWSE 11… because it was. I had a good reason though: I needed an excuse to use that delicious chocolate cross on my site. So here’s FWSE 12, which goes from March 20 through March 26. Once again, these are all actual keywords that people who found my site typed in search engines. Let’s do this:

1. preteens fucking - And we’re off to great start, huh? Apparently March 23rd was National Degenerate Fuckhead Day because I got hits from four different IPs looking for this shit. Some sicko at 69.61.152.59 searched using some engine I’ve never even heard of called Zuvio. Two slightly more brazen fuckers, one at 70.57.160.205 and one at 64.12.117.11, used MSN in an attempt to indulge their indefensible interests. Finally some moron at 65.65.194.175 used Yahoo for a similiar search. This is fucking weak. The ACLU would have you believe that typing keywords like that into a search engine doesn’t make you a criminal; they’re wrong. People who enjoy that shit should have their genitalia cut off and stuffed in their mouths.

2. popples c64 - We’ve gone from one form of child abuse to another. The Popples’ Commodore 64 game was absolutely horrific. It contained all the fun of an activity book, only with a lot less pages, colors, and FUN. I can’t honestly imagine that any kid enjoyed it.

3. rodimus prime an asshole - There’s nothing I could really add to that… except maybe a verb. Rodimus Prime was an asshole. ‘Nuff said.

4. mk fatalities - Congratulations, you have successfully identified that Mortal Kombat has fatalities. What about it? You want sceenshots of them? You want to know how to do them? Which MK game are you even looking for info on? For everything you could ever want to know about any Mortal Kombat, I recommend GameFAQs. Well, unless you want screenshots. I also highly recommend Mortal Kombat: Deception, as I have been spending some time playing that when I should have been working on the site.

5. disney mickey mouse pornos - So this is what it’s come to… visitors to my site include pedophiles and morons looking for pictures of Donald Duck hate-railing Minnie. Fan-fucking-tastic. I hope they at least told their friends about the site.

6. sly and arnie playtime - Seen it. Not that funny. Naked Doris Roberts is wrong on soooo many levels.

7. marjorie silcoff - Other YCDOTV cast members that SydLexia.com visitors searched for this week were Doug Ptolemy, Lisa Ruddy, Vanessa Lindores, and Christine McGlade. Alanis Morrissette and Adam Reid got snubbed. Big time.

And that’s the end of the chapter. In other news, the pics on my World 9 page for SMB2 weren’t displaying properly and no one bothered to tell me. I probably should have figured it out on my own, but come on. My e-mail address is only on the site about a million times. Someone could have told me. In any case, they work now.


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