Fun With Search Engines Part XI: Jesus Died So The Cadbury Bunny Could Live

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 2:08 pm

Sweet Jesus!

      It’s time for the eleventh episode of FWSE. For those keeping track at home, it’s only the eleventh when you go by airdate, not production code. This report includes search queries that were used to access between 3/13 and 3/19.

1. donkeylips - More people search for Donkeylips than you might think. If everyone who searched for info about him and/or Salute Your Shorts signed the petition, we could cure cancer. And by cure cancer, I mean get Michael Bower work.

2. princess leilani - An odd search indeed. Princess Leilani was the least memorable thing about Adventure Island. Hell, she didn’t even really exist… Master Higgins rescued that bitch Tina instead.

3. red sonya screenshots - Since I put up the Arnold article, I’ve been getting a surprising number of Red Sonya-related hits. I would attribute it to Brigitte Nielsen’s new show Strange Love, but half of the searches involve Schwarzenegger. It was one of Arnold’s more obscure movies, maybe that’s why people are searching for info on it.

4. axl blaze adam - Who are characters from the Streets of Rage series? Those also might be the names of the current Guns N’ Roses line-up. I’ve lost track of who is in the band besides Axl.

5. capcom vs fucking everything - Capcom has definitely gone too far with the VS series. The VS. Marvel games were pretty cool… not so much with the VS. SNK ones. Here’s some Good Friday trivia for you: recent evidence suggests that it was Dr. Wily’s master robots, not the Jews, who killed Jesus. It is also been speculated that Pontius Pilate may have in fact been Protoman.

6. ramones bonzo goes to bitburg - The meaning of “Bonzo Goes To Bitburg” is that Joey Ramone is a tool. Still, it’s a catchy song, it was in both Airheads and School of Rock, and when you get down to it, The Ramones still rock.

7. tomahawkman - Find something better to do with your time than search for the shittiest Megaman villain ever. Thanks for the hit though.

      So there it is, a belated Good Friday FWSE. As a bonus, enjoy the the candy cross above. It’s a profound statement on the modern clash between religion and commercialism. Or something. That’s all I have to say for now. Like Arnold in The 6th Day, I might be back.

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