In Memory of Anna Nicole Smith

Filed under: Stuff — Syd Lexia @ 3:04 pm

      In a shocking turn of events, Anna Nicole Smith suddenly passed away yesterday. As someone who has, uh, thoroughly enjoyed her Playboy shoots, I was greatly shocked and disappointed by her death. And so, I would like to offer up the following eulogy:

Anna Nicole, when people look back at your life, I think the thing they’ll remember most is that you were really, really hot. And while this hotness was sometimes marred by your massive weight fluctuations, reality show antics, and prolonged legal battles, deep down we all still knew it was there. To us, the general public, you were always that smoking hot babe from the nudie mags. And when we found out that your character in Naked Gun 33⅓ was a hermaphrodite, we paused for a second, thought about it, then we decided we’d still do you. Even in death, we’d probably still do you. We might settle for Jill Kelly though, being as she’s still alive. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Amen.

      I believe that Anna Nicole Smith deserves to be mourned, and I for one shall mourn her. Out of respect for Anna Nicole, I pledge to refrain from masturbating to pictures of her for two weeks. Well, maybe one week. Well, maybe a day. How about an hour?

One Comment

  • Posted by tishwitch on February 9th, 2007 at 5:24 pm  

    I have also made a little something in memory of Anna Nicole Smith:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You’ll soon be in an Urn
    Because of Howard K. Stern


    p.s. I’m throwing in the conspiracy theory: Mr. Stern killed Daniel & now Anna Nicole so that he gets the $$$ I know I’d consider it! At minimum $450 million, max $1.5 billion!

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