Fun With Search Engines #87: Appetite For Destruction

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 11:32 am

      Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site report where I review some of the keywords that brought visitors to my site. This FWSE report is for the two week period starting October 22nd and ending November 4th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. princess peach porn - Nice use of alliteration!  PS: You’re still a loser.

2. don’t ever get it wet keep it away from bright light and no matter how much it cries no matter how much it begs -never ever feed it after midnight - Ah yes, the rules for proper vagina maintenance.

3. drunk driving poster - This is the site’s official drunk driving poster:

4. best snes games - I’d like to eventually do a Top 100 SNES Games list to compliment the Top 100 NES Games list, but it’ll probably be quite a while before I am able to do so. But here’s a preliminary top five list:

1. A Link To The Past
2. A Link To The Past
3. A Link To The Past
4. ActRaiser
5. A Link To The Past

5. global guts - Earth’s insides are actually quite unimpressive:

6. happy thanksgiving - Not yet, asswipe.

7. fairly odd parents porn - I tried to ignore this search, but it was seriously one of the top 20 searches every day between October 22nd and November 4th. And while I find this to be disturbing in and of itself, the horribleness is multiplied by ten due to the fact the show is called The Fairly OddParents and not The Fairly Odd Parents.

8. kurt cobain - believed gun ownership was an inalienable right.

9. coke vs pepsi taste test - Pepsi is generally considered to be sweeter than Coke, which is why it overwhelmingly beats Coke in taste tests when participants are given a quick swig of each drink. However, people tend to prefer Coke’s taste in the long run, as indicated by its higher market share.

10. the name of the lead actor in the movie the bloodening - The Bloodening wasn’t even a real movie! It was from an episode of The Simpsons. Specifically, it was from S10E11, an episode entitled “Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken. The production code was AABF07. If you really need to know the name of a fake actor from a parody of Village of the Damned, you can either find the episode on a P2P network or you can wait until Season Ten gets released on the DVD. However, I should point out that since no answer to your question exists on, The Simpsons Archive. This means one of two things:

1. The fake movie didn’t have fake credits
2. You’re a bigger dork than even the most diehard Simpsons fans.

11. how to fuck up someone’s car - Hmmm… that’s a tough one. Have you tried a sledgehammer?

12. nes cartoon guy goes into game - That would be Captain N: The Gamemaster.

13. NES game island yoyo - That would be StarTropics.

14. sheeva mortal kombat hentai - Pass.

      That’s enough for now. Hopefully I’ll have a new article for you tomorrow. I know I’m not particularly good at delivering upon these promises, which is why I used the qualifier hopefully. But seriously, it’ll happen. Hopefully.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.


  • Posted by Valdronius on November 8th, 2006 at 6:44 pm  

    Just in case you were unaware, Thanksgiving was October 9th on this side of the border. Now who’s the asswipe? :twisted:

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on November 9th, 2006 at 9:56 am  

    Touché, Valdronius. Touché.

    Hey, wait a minute. If your Thanksgiving was October 9th, and this FWSE report was for the two week period between October 22nd and November 4th, there’s still no excuse for that Thanksgiving search. It’s too late to start caring about the Canadian Thanksgiving and it’s still a little too early to start caring about the American Thanksgiving. So that person still sucks.

  • Posted by Valdronius on November 9th, 2006 at 5:31 pm  

    I’ll concede to that.

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