Fun With Search Engines #29: (Your Ad Here)

Filed under: FWSE — Syd Lexia @ 9:23 pm

      So almost the end of the week and there’s still not an FWSE report up for *last* week. You probably think lazy ol’ Syd has forgotten about it, don’t you? Well, you’re wrong, because you just happen to be reading the Fun With Search Engines report for July 31st - August 6th. Who’s the asshole now? Oh wait, it’s still me. As always, these are real searches that visitors to my site typed into search engines. I don’t know who should be more embarrassed, me or them. Let’s get this over with:

1. gay bodybuilders can’t fight - My first inclination is that this query is a plant, but I can’t prove it. I don’t know why the fuck someone would look this up; everyone knows gay bodybuilders can’t fight.

2. streets of rage interesting - Most people don’t realize that if you include the word interesting in your search query, the engine will automatically filter out boring results. Of course, the reason most people don’t realize it is because I just made it up.

3. waler oct cobra pooter - At first, I thought this was German. As it turns out, they’re enemies from Hudson’s Adventure Island. I must be slipping. If I ever forget what a Goomba or a Koopa is, feel free to shoot me in the face.

4. you should not drink and bake - It’s true, and you can thank Mr. Schwarzenegger for that lovely piece of advice. Arnold knows his shit; that’s why he’s governor of California.

5. princess peach porn - Sometimes I wish I really did run a video game hentai site. Nerds everywhere are chomping at the bit to see naked pics of Princess Peach, Samus Aran, Jill Valentine, and Chun Li, so I could make an assload of money.

6. donkey lips - His fucking name is Donkeylips, you stupid fuck. Read the goddam Salute Your Shorts article and educate yourself.

7. worst nes games - The Worst NES Games That People Actually Played is easily one of my favorite articles that I’ve done to date. I am very surprised at the complete and total lack of hate mail that I’ve received over this article. Somewhere out there’s got to be at least one Skate or Die fan plotting my demise.

Well, that it’s for now. If any of you are on that super trendy MySpace site, feel free to add Syd Lexia to your friends list. Or don’t. Whatever.


  • Posted by Valdronius on August 13th, 2005 at 3:14 pm  

    I think you’ll have to try a little harder if you want to get some hate mail. I mean, I liked TMNT, and I did actually sit and beat rampage, (two sittings actually, the campus cafeteria was only open for a couple hours), but nothing was said that would really motivate me to take the time to create an anonymous e-mail address and send hate mail.

    Maybe you should try something a little more risque, like the 20 dumbest martyred saints. Or maybe the 20 greatest untimely deaths. Yeah, include Cliff Burton, Princess Diana, and your thoughts on why each was a blessing to humanity.

  • Posted by flowerchild on August 14th, 2005 at 12:33 am  

    its like past midnight and i feel alone. somebody come on and speak to me. i’m bored shitless and i’m laughing my ass of at some of these posts. i love it!! you guys are so funny.

  • Posted by Tebor on August 15th, 2005 at 2:11 am  

    Can we just like start like sending you our video game hentai and stuff? Like?

    Arnold is NOT A PERVERT!!!!

  • Posted by flowerchild on August 15th, 2005 at 6:11 am  

    do i say like that often? i didn’t notice… :(

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on August 15th, 2005 at 10:05 am  

    You don’t say like all that much and other than saying that it’s “like past midnight”, they’ve all been proper usage. My grammar isn’t perfect either. I like to use the triple period trail off a lot, and most respectable English teachers don’t like that… Of course, I have artistic license and I pay $9.95 a month for it. It’s totally worth it, because otherwise the punctuation police would be over at headquarters every other day circling words and underlining sentences.

  • Posted by flowerchild on August 15th, 2005 at 2:32 pm  

    lol! aww, thank you, i feel better. I plan on writing when i get out of college. Its just my favorite thing to do and i believe that i do it so much that i’ve begun to write like i talk…its scary. I wouldn’t do it in English class, for instance, however the habit projects itself online, in emails, my diaries, ect.
    So by writing “like” a thousand times, you can imagine that i say it ten times more… i’ll bet people get annoyed when we converse.
    …dude, i still do the triple period trail off

  • Posted by Tebor on August 16th, 2005 at 3:12 am  

    “I plan on writing when i get out of college”

    Damn it, write right NOW!!! Don’t waste your life saying you’ll do it once you’re out of college. You have to be writing 24/7. Even useless crap. At the moment, I’m keeping in “writer-shape”© by writing a piss ass poor TMNT script about Keno’s turn to the dark side. I can never do anything with this, but give it to the TMNT fans in my life to wipe themselves with, but I’m gaining technique… maybe.

    If the “like” controversary is about: “Can we just like start like sending you our video game hentai and stuff? Like?” I wrote; that line was to imitate a redneck hick (no offense to the redneck hicks who browse this site) whose only meaning in life is to whack off to hentai. It’s hard to imitate dumb people on a 2D board. Another example of my imitation is the comment on Syd’s “Crow vs. Gremlin” comic. I know a DS didn’t crush him, I was just stating what a dumb person would take away with.

    So Flowerchild, if it was my fault for the “like” posts… I’m sorry. Forgiveness, please!

  • Posted by flowerchild on August 17th, 2005 at 3:31 pm  

    lol, tebor! i wasn’t insulted in the least! Lmfao, awww, and thank you for the writing advice :grin:
    i didn’t take it personally at all, i knew that you weren’t being snide :lol:

  • Posted by Tebor on August 21st, 2005 at 1:05 am  

    :mrgreen: loves :mrgreen:


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