Sic and sicker

Filed under: Stuff — Syd Lexia @ 10:49 pm

      In the Spring Cleaning Crapstravaganza, I said that my stuffed Bumblelion toy was thrown out long ago; I was wrong. I recently found him in a box in the attic. Sadly, after all that time in the storage, he just wasn’t the same. After seeing what the world had become since the 1980s, my Wuzzle friend quietly took his life. Bumblelion, I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend and I hope you’re in a better place. Peace.

      In other news, an article on a book called The Mystery of Scented Mountain is up. You may enjoy it.


  • Posted by flowerchild on August 11th, 2005 at 8:51 pm  

    dude, My Raggedy Andy almost did the same thing to himself the other day. Seriously, i haven’t the heart to toss him, but he’s just so dirty and worn and he’s seemingly groteqsue in his filthy appearance. What ever shall i do?

  • Posted by flowerchild on August 11th, 2005 at 8:54 pm  

    i don’t remember that book at all. my memory disgusts me sometimes considering my tender age…i used to read shit like curious george, i spy (was that even considered suitable reading?) babysitter’s club, and the pokey little puppy (gave me nightmares)

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on August 11th, 2005 at 10:44 pm  

    Well, The Mystery of Scented Mountain wasn’t exactly a popular book… it was a gimmicky thing that parents would buy solely because they could get their child’s name inserted into the book. Some of the more popular stuff that I read or had read to me included Curious George, various Richard Scarry crap, various Beverly Cleary crap, various Matt Christopher crap, Peter Rabbit, My Teacher Is An Alien, The Three Investigators series, Golden Books, Choose Your Own Adventure books, and a whole series of books with the Cat in the Hat logo on them. The weird thing is, only half of the books with the Cat in the Hat logo were actually written by Dr. Seuss. Go figure.

  • Posted by Valdronius on August 11th, 2005 at 11:25 pm  

    Wow, I had a personalized story book too! It involved going to the circus or something.

    Is it just me, or does the jar on page 29, just right of the watermelon, look like 3 doobies? And the very last picture, at the top right, is that a brain?

  • Posted by Tebor on August 13th, 2005 at 12:13 am  

    I win, I have a Ghostbusters personalized story where I join them!!! My parents RULE!!!

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on August 13th, 2005 at 12:42 am  

          I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a drug reference hidden somewhere in this book because Carol Howie Eldridge was clearly on crack. Some of those jar labels are completely incomprehensible.

          Speaking of that last picture, take a look at far left middle. What is that? Amoebas? Orange porkchops? What in the hell?

          Tebor, you are one lucky bastard. I can’t help but wonder if Ghost Busters had their own personalized story too. I always wanted to fight Prime Evil and find out once and for all if he was a robot or a ghost. I mean come on, he can’t fucking be both.

  • Posted by flowerchild on August 13th, 2005 at 11:53 pm  

    lol, orange porkchops? What an artistic mind you have… it just looks like… amoebas is pretty accurate, but… perhaps some kind of orange fecal matter that is hard to point out. Dude, i used to read those peter rabbit books and i thought they were too cool. curious george was alright because i had a thing for the man with the yellow hat. They NEVER said the dude’s name…it was just the man with the yellow hat. BRILLIANT.
    anyway, i was digging through some old junk and i came across a GLOW WORM! no, not a dildo, but one of those ugly, sadly fey characters with the green night hats! they glow in the dark and i guess are supposed to offer comfort to a child. Did you guys have a Glow worm doll?

  • Posted by Syd Lexia on August 14th, 2005 at 12:17 am  

          I did… I think I went through two Gloworms. One was destroyed in my infant years by baby slobber and such and the second one was probably eventually given to my archenemy, The Salvation Army. I’m fairly certain that Gloworm played music in addition to lighting up and I will never ever forgive that unfunny bitch Loni Love for implying that she used the beloved children’s toy as a dildo on I Love The 80s. I know she’s fat and all, but those things were like 3 or 4 inches in diameter. That’s not healthy.

  • Posted by flowerchild on August 14th, 2005 at 1:32 am  

    that would hurt! i couldn’t fathom putting such a large object into my body. and as a child, i don’t suppose such a disgusting thought would have popped into my head…although now that i think of it *stares over at gloworm*
    yeah, i saw that episode of i love the 80s… good times, good times. dude, we had the best fuckin’ toys.

  • Posted by S. McCracken on August 16th, 2005 at 12:55 pm  

    As commander of the militant wing of the Salvation Army, I take your overt hostility as either jealousy toward our plentiful assortment of Hypercolor T-shirts and platform shoes or as a declaration of all-out war. I advise you not to trifle with the S.A. for while we would rather abstain from this blatant excuse to trade blood for Benneton jackets, we will do what must be done to make Levi’s “Button Your Fly” jeans available to every retro-kitsch loser, pantless alcoholic, and trailer-driving single mother of ten.

  • Posted by Tuckster on August 18th, 2005 at 11:23 am  

    Oh man… Syd, your site never fails to make me laugh… I, too had a personalized book when I was younger… it was called ‘Me and the Star World Visitors’ and in it I - believe it or not - I HELPED ALIENS figure out what a bunch of mysterious mcahines did, culminating in the discovery that they MADE CANDY… and if that’s not enough, my BEST FRIEND got the SAME personalized book from his parents. Kinda disillusioning, really. Sigh. Too bad about your Wuzzle; at least he got to enjoy the glory days of the 80’s.

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