I’m bored, so I guess it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly news posting where I comment on some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE report is for the week of August 20th through August 26th. As always, these are all real searches.
1. porn passcodes - Try 1263229987 and see if that works. That’s the password, you’ll need a username too. Try IAMAFUCKINGRETARD, all capital letters, no spaces.
2. kara beth borden - What ever happened to Kara Beth Borden? Wait, why do I care?
3. moira quirk - In his 2006 commencement speech at UNH, keynote speaker Mike O’Malley told that crowd that “life is a lot like the Aggro Crag” and stated to the disappointment of many that he never hooked up with Mo.
4. ’s xanga site - Who’s Xanga site? Kara Borden’s? Kristin Cavallari’s? Satan’s? I need to know!
5. maniac girls fucking babies - Hmmm, let me see if I can come up with a witty and tasteless retort response to this search. OK, got one. I’m not gonna share it though. Instead, why we don’t we take this time to quietly reflect on the problem of child abuse.
6. wwe sucks - WWE sucks pretty bad these days, but you know what doesn’t suck? WWE 24/7. You can watch all sorts of awesome matches from when the WWE was the WWF as well as all sorts of classic WCW stuff. nWo 4 life, motherfucker!
7. how to fuck objects around the house - I wish I were making this up, but I’m not. Someone typed this into Yahoo and fully expected to get detailed instructions on how they could fuck their couch or their PS2 or God knows what else. This quite possibly the most pathetic thing I’ve seen all year. But to be fair, I did skip BloodRayne.
And on that rather disturbing note, I’m done. This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.