Welcome to another edition of Fun With Search Engines, the weekly report where I comment on some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed in search engines. As always, these are all real searchs. This FWSE report is for the week starting 10/30/05 and ending 11/05/05.
1. 3 dominatrixes is at least two too many. Plus it’s expensive. Instead of hiring three chicks with whips to bring you pleasure through pain, why not hire one chick to flog you with a cat o’ nine tails instead? You have to think economically.
2. mortal kombat/fatality - If you’re using slashes in your search queries, you’re doing something wrong. Well, unless you’re looking for information on Guns N’ Roses, Slash’s Bluesball, Slash’s Snakepit, or Velvet Revolver. You weren’t, so you suck.
3. fucking soaring - Apparently, My Whomp ‘Em article is currently the #1 result for this search on Google. This particular search came through Google France and fuck if I know why some Frenchy would search for fucking soaring unless he or she was snorting blow with an American friend.
4. could stallone beat the shit out of arnold? - Hell no. And he probably wouldn’t ever try, because they’re friends. But when I typed in this search myself, I found this: The Arnold Dreams Database. It’s interesting to say the least.
5. Monster Part NES Bosses - I can still remember what a huge fucking struggle it was to get Google to even notice my site existed. And now, SydLexia.com articles can be found on Google a few days after they go up on my site. It’s not quite as fast as MSN, but it’s better than Yahoo.
6. Mega Man 5 weakness of Master Robots - It sincerely irritates me that there are people out there who play video games and haven’t fucking heard of GameFAQs. It also irritates me that people look the shit up. Half of the fun is figuring out the weaknesses ON YOUR OWN. Christ.
7. mixing uppers and downers - Seriously? It’s a good idea, do it. As many of them as you can at once.
DISCLAIMER: SydLexia.com is a not a health site and no medical advice we offer should be considered valid.
And on that note, I’m done. If my lawyer calls, I’m not answering.