SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - Worst singer and metaphors for their voices

Posted: Jun 20 2008 12:52 pm

Alicia Keys singing always has this 'playing a violin with a cat while, strangling the cat' tune.

I'm saying my ear drums might bleed if I listen to her music.

Posted: Jun 20 2008 01:06 pm

i actually think she's a great singer and i dont mind her music. its not that pop BS that R&B singers try to pass as music nowadays (im looking at you rihanna and your fucking umbrella)

Posted: Jun 20 2008 01:53 pm

Mike Williams from Eyehategod. He sounds like a drug addict craving for a fix. 'Course, you could argue that that fits the music (and is unsurprising given as how Mike Williams really is a drug addict), but I find it annoying.

Randy Blythe on Lamb of God's New American Gospel album. He was good on the later albums, but on that one he sounded like a drunken, constipated chimp. (He was drunk during recording, after all.)

Any emo singer, they sound like their balls have been removed. SING LIKE A MAN, WUSS!

Posted: Jun 20 2008 03:45 pm

The guy from the Deftones sounds like some one has him in a garotte.

Posted: Jun 20 2008 08:03 pm

Word. Alicia Keys is always good. Some of the stuff she says can be stupid though (like when she said gangsta rap was invented by the government to make black people kill each other.)

Posted: Jun 20 2008 08:08 pm

Mr. Bomberman wrote:

Word. Alicia Keys is always good. Some of the stuff she says can be stupid though (like when she said gangsta rap was invented by the government to make black people kill each other.)

word

she is a woman, so she cant help saying stupid stuff

Posted: Jun 20 2008 08:57 pm

username wrote:

Mr. Bomberman wrote:

Word. Alicia Keys is always good. Some of the stuff she says can be stupid though (like when she said gangsta rap was invented by the government to make black people kill each other.)

word

she is a woman, so she cant help saying stupid stuff

or

depending on your level of political correctness.

Joined: Jun 28 2006 Posts: 17

Macy Gray (Grey?) and her fuckin just recovered from strep throat and ripped a back of Marlboro Red 100's after gargling sandpaper.

Posted: Jun 21 2008 02:56 am

JWcolour wrote:

Macy Gray (Grey?) and her fuckin just recovered from strep throat and ripped a back of Marlboro Red 100's after gargling sandpaper.

First time I heard Macy Gray, I said "When did Nell Carter put out a cd?"

I actually like some of her stuff. It just depends. It was also funny when she got punk'd.

Title: Alexz Aficionado Joined: May 21 2008 Posts: 2889

I'm gonna flack for this, but I don't care.

Christina Aguilera, she sounds like a banshee. Banshees run scared from her.

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

Tim Armstrong from Rancid. I know its suppose to be a soused gutter rat, fuck all authority punk voice, but its fuckin terrible. It's more of a too much meth and gargle with red bull voice. He should just let Lars sing all the time.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Ghandi wrote:

I'm gonna flack for this, but I don't care.

Christina Aguilera, she sounds like a banshee. Banshees run scared from her.

I was just thinking of her when i opened this thread.

"Words can't bring . . . you down!!!" no but your voice can.

I'd have to say, most of the people from american idol and i don't mean the terrible auditioners, they all eventually trip up and sound like shit, even the good ones have a bad voice day. Confused

Edit: forgot the metaphor, they sound like ally cats looking for a mate, much like how CATS should sound like to be more believable.

Posted: Jun 21 2008 01:35 pm

Ghandi wrote:

I'm gonna flack for this, but I don't care.

Christina Aguilera, she sounds like a banshee. Banshees run scared from her.

christina CAN sing. like a motherfucker too.

too bad i hate her songs.

Posted: Jun 30 2008 01:13 am

Where do I start...?

The lead singer of AC/DC. Imagine if someone drank a bucket full of snot and then shoved Chewbacca down their throat. Ugh.

James Blunt. Although I like a total of one of his songs ("Same Mistake" isn't too bad), his voice just has this...BLECH-ness to it. Like some 14-year-old idiot drank a whole bunch of laundry fluid and then tried out for an audition to his high school's musical adaption of "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown".

The lead singer of Panic At The Disco. Has anyone else been unfortunate enough to listen to his rendition of Michael Jackson's "Beat It"? It strongly reminds me of a "giggle stick". You know, those plastic tube things they sell at the dollar store; whenever you flip them over, they go "oohuhAH, AHHllleeooh"

Fred Durst. Do I really need to elaborate?

Natasha Bedingfield; sings that REALLY annoying song "Unwritten" on those Pantene Pro-V commercials. No, I don't want to feel the rain on my skin. Her voice reminds me of when I was five and I used to suck on a drinking glass until it was tight enough to make a ring around my mouth, and then make this really loud screeching/screaming noise to annoy my parents.

James Iha (formerly of Smashing Pumpkins). I can't help but think that every time he sings, he does so through a megaphone made of tree bark.

The lead singer of Coldplay. I borrowed my brother's copy of Parachutes because, based on the descriptions I'd read about them, they seemed like a band I would like. I listened to the opening notes of the first song, and it sounded pleasant enough, but then the vocals kicked in and I IMMEDIATELY turned my CD player off. I've only done that twice, the other time being when my brother made me listen to a Sex Pistols song.

The lead singer of the Sex Pistols. I think I sounded like this once when I was nine and I had strep throat.

The lead singer of Flyleaf. Take Amy Lee (of Evanescence) and smash her larynx with a sledgehammer. Then tell her to make an attempt at imitating Whitney Houston's singing voice, while yodeling. Record an mp3 of this and then try to compress it to the lowest possible quality so it sounds like no human being could possibly sound like that, with the exception of the lead singer of Flyleaf.

Posted: Jun 30 2008 06:17 am

King Diamond. His voice sounds like cats being raped.

Posted: Jun 30 2008 02:12 pm

Syd Lexia wrote:

King Diamond. His voice sounds like cats being raped.

Yeah but I think it's supposed to sound like that Laughing

Docinsano's Channel 63 · Posted: Jun 30 2008 02:38 pm

I think I read somewhere that Dick Barrett from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones had a voice "like a bulldog with lung cancer" but that's a simile, not a metaphor.

Posted: Jun 30 2008 06:32 pm

I agree about the AC/DC singer. He sounds like a drunk asshole who is horibly singing karaoke, but thinks he's a fucking rock god.

The singer for the White Stripes sounds like he got punched in the throat while gurgling menstral blood.

Posted: Jul 02 2008 12:48 pm

Knyte wrote:

I agree about the AC/DC singer. He sounds like a drunk asshole who is horibly singing karaoke, but thinks he's a fucking rock god.

AC/DC is for the most part brainless, plodding cock rock. You'd think people would have the decency to listen to Thin Lizzy instead. Still worth listening to once though.

As for horrible singers, no one can beat Thom Yorke of Radiohead's whiny-mumbled-cacophony-of-goose-shit-mixed-with-iguana-piss style of singing.

Posted: Jul 02 2008 04:02 pm

Rufus Wainright - He sounds like a record of a cat dying in a blender, being played at speed slower then indicated on the LP

Posted: Jul 02 2008 09:11 pm

Janis Joplin sounds like Bob Dylan choking a cat.

Getting off cat metaphors, Shane McGowan, although I like the Pogues, sounds like a drunk gorilla that has had all of it's teeth kicked in.

Posted: Jul 02 2008 09:14 pm

Quote:

AC/DC is for the most part brainless, plodding cock rock. You'd think people would have the decency to listen to Thin Lizzy instead.

Though I absolutely love AC/DC and don't appreciate people who knock them for being brainless, talentless, whatever, THANK YOU for mentioning Thin Lizzy, arguabley the most underrated band EVER.

Posted: Jul 02 2008 09:29 pm

ross_rifle113 wrote:

Though I absolutely love AC/DC and don't appreciate people who knock them

QFT. What kind of douchebag hates AC/DC? There are far worse rock bands out there that you should be hating instead, like Cherry Street, Sleez Beez, Fair Warning, Honeymoon Suite, and Bang Tango.

Posted: Jul 02 2008 09:32 pm

I like 'Someone Like You' by Bang Tango, but yeah other than that they blow.

Posted: Jul 02 2008 10:08 pm

Red_Mage wrote:

Janis Joplin sounds like Bob Dylan choking a cat.

I CANNOT believe I forgot to mention her! Thank you! Very Happy

Yeah, Janis Joplin is basically the reason why crappy genres like nu-metal and screamo exist.