SydLexia.com Forum Index
"Stay awhile. Stay... FOREVER!"

  [Edit Profile]  [Search]  [Memberlist]  [Usergroups]  [FAQ]  [Register]
[Who's Online]  [Log in to check your private messages]  [Log in]
GPFontaine for President


This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.
Author Message
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Mar 17 2008 09:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I will be running for President in 2016.

It will be my first major venture into politics, but I figure that starting at the top is the right place to be.

I hope you will all vote for me.

My motto will be, I am honest, and you may not like that, but it is better than me fucking lying to you.

Things I will focus on:

  • Non-Fuel Based Automobiles
  • English as the only official American Language. (All teachers at all levels of education must be able to pass a speech proficiency test).
  • No porn bill boards on highways
  • American porn websites will be shifted to .xxx
  • Movie trailers will not be allowed as television advertisements. They will instead be offered online and viewed on demand.
  • Assisted suicide will be legalized
  • The death penalty will be removed 100%. Criminals will instead be put into the jail that was in the movie Face Off. It costs millions to fry someone, it costs only $300,000 to give them 3 squares a day.
  • All blue laws would be removed and a new set of purple laws will be added as federal laws rather than state laws.
  • Electoral votes will be eliminated, popular vote will be all that is allowed.
  • We will liberate Chilliwack, BC, Canada
  • All states and republics will be removed. There will just be America.
  • All police will spend one hour a week with a social worker to get out their issues.
  • All police on traffic duty will be monitored by internal affairs at least 10% of the time without their knowledge. Slacking off will get you banned from getting the OT.
  • The supreme court appointed positions will be 10 year positions, no longer.
  • Mcdonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, and KFC will be illegal.
  • The legal age for consensual sex will be 16. There will be a rule that states that two individuals who are of ages no more than 4 years apart cannot be charged with statutory rape.
  • Gas will be sold at a fixed price of $1. Since there will be no states, there will be no tolls, and no gas tax.
  • Sales Tax will be the only tax and it will be set at 10%. There is NO maximum and there are no write offs. This will work because the more you spend, the more you owe on tax. The rich pay a lot more this way.
  • Food will not be taxed.
  • Social security is gone. Sorry, you are fucked if you don't have it and you need it.
  • Children under 18 who have any form of attention or anxiety disorder are not allowed to subscribe to MMOs.
  • Anyone who abuses animals will be put into the polar bear cage at the zoo. This is not the death penalty, because there is a chance they could get out... maybe.



The list isn't done, but I am tired and need to take a break.

I need to also cover the things I will not be going over. A future post will have the rest.



 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
PostPosted: Mar 17 2008 11:04 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's websiteAIM Address
Char Aznable
Title: Char Classic™
Joined: Jul 24 2006
Location: Robot Boombox HQ
PostPosted: Mar 17 2008 11:08 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Hey, I fucking like KFC. You sure don't have my vote.

And why not just make death via one-man firing squad legal?

And we need states. How else will I identify where the retards come from?


Image
 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's websiteAIM Address
Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
PostPosted: Mar 17 2008 11:38 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dude, don't bother with Chilliwack. By 2016, there won't be much left. But if you really want it, there won't be much of a fight, though keep in mind that it is the 7th most dangerous city in Canada.

Other than that, I kinda agree. I'd become a citizen to vote for you, but you should have it tied up. Also, might I recommend changing the national anthem to Paradise City?


Does anybody here have a Ross Rifle?
www.thetwowordsmusic.com
www.myspace.com/rossrifle
 
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's websiteMSN Messenger
Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 03:54 am Reply with quote Back to top

ross_rifle113 wrote:
Also, might I recommend changing the national anthem to Paradise City?

Anything would be better than their current anthem.



</Cattivo baiting>


Klimbatize wrote:
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd.

 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 11:06 am Reply with quote Back to top

Murdar Machene wrote:
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy...


What did I write that was Racist?


Murdar Machene wrote:
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit


I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.

I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.

List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary.



 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 11:19 am Reply with quote Back to top

Char Aznable wrote:
Hey, I fucking like KFC. You sure don't have my vote.

And why not just make death via one-man firing squad legal?

And we need states. How else will I identify where the retards come from?


I may amend my statement and allow those fast food restaurants as long as people who eat there agree to pay 20% tax on their purchases. The health care coverage needs to be paid for somehow, and people who eat healthy aren't going to be penalized any more.

While I am not a big believer in the Death Penalty from a moral perspective, my main reason for not allowing it is because of the legal cost that goes into it. The price difference between the methods is insignificant compared to the price to get to that point.

I can make an arrangement however, if a person is found to be worthy of the death penalty, the state will no longer pay for it, if a private entity would like to pay the legal fees, there is nothing wrong with that.

In my first term states will still exist, however they will not have state laws. They will still get funding.

All laws in the country will be the same no matter where you are.
There will be a single US Bar association and all lawyers will need to take it.



 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 11:24 am Reply with quote Back to top

Valdronius wrote:
ross_rifle113 wrote:
Also, might I recommend changing the national anthem to Paradise City?

Anything would be better than their current anthem.



</Cattivo baiting>



Awww, I dig our anthem. I used to think that the "gave proof through the night that our flag was still there" line was badass when we sang it in elementary school.

Having played hockey against a few Canadian junior teams in college, I have a new-found appreciation for the Canadian one too. Although I still can't sing anything beyond "Oh, Canada..."


Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us.
 
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailAIM Address
TheRoboSleuth
Title: Sleuth Mark IV
Joined: Aug 08 2006
Location: The Gritty Future
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 02:27 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Fat people cost less because they die early. Its people in nursing homes that are a problem.

Nice research buddy.


Image
 
View user's profileSend private message
Cattivo
Joined: Apr 14 2006
Location: Lake Michigan
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 03:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Valdronius wrote:
</Cattivo baiting>


Death to Canada! You guys are lucky we didn't have a good army yet in 1812, or else you would be our servants. Twisted Evil

I hope I've fulfilled my obligation.
View user's profileSend private message
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 04:19 pm Reply with quote Back to top

RobotGumshoe wrote:
Fat people cost less because they die early. Its people in nursing homes that are a problem.

Nice research buddy.


What... you read:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22995659/

We live in America, not the Netherlands.



 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Ross Rifle
Title: Rock N Roll God
Joined: Oct 29 2006
Location: Chilliwack, BC
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 06:04 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Oh Cattivo, I would be pissed except apparently I'll become an American citizen after GP enters office....


Does anybody here have a Ross Rifle?
www.thetwowordsmusic.com
www.myspace.com/rossrifle
 
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's websiteMSN Messenger
Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
PostPosted: Mar 18 2008 09:30 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Cattivo wrote:
I hope I've fulfilled my obligation.

Admirably.

Though it's pretty sad when a bunch of ragtag canucks will force you to go to another -continent- to get slaves.


Klimbatize wrote:
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd.

 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Cattivo
Joined: Apr 14 2006
Location: Lake Michigan
PostPosted: Mar 19 2008 11:50 am Reply with quote Back to top

Anybody watch HBO on Sunday? The new John Adams miniseries had a few choice criticisms of slavery at the birth ofAmerica.

That program is looking very good. It's based on that biography by the historian David McCullough. They've treated the subject of independence very well, showing how it wasn't a foregone conclusion. That's why I love history so much, to show why things happened a certain way, when they could have easily gone another, except for luck or one leader's decision.
View user's profileSend private message
Kubo
Joined: Aug 24 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
PostPosted: Mar 19 2008 02:19 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Cattivo wrote:
Anybody watch HBO on Sunday? The new John Adams miniseries had a few choice criticisms of slavery at the birth ofAmerica.

That program is looking very good. It's based on that biography by the historian David McCullough. They've treated the subject of independence very well, showing how it wasn't a foregone conclusion. That's why I love history so much, to show why things happened a certain way, when they could have easily gone another, except for luck or one leader's decision.


I saw it... thought it was amazing. Paul Giamatti is great as Adams, and Wilkinson is dead on as Franklin.

Really dig the way that it doesn't present the Revolution as a moral realism... I actually felt bad for the British soldiers on trial.

Anyway, really good miniseries, I'll be sure to watch the rest as well.


Thou, because I am wroth, be not dismayed, for I shall win the strife, whoever circle round within for the defence. This their insolence is not new, for of old they used it at a less secret gate, which still is found without a bolt. Above it thou didst see the dead inscription; and already on this side of it
descends the steep, passing without escort through the circles,
One such that by him the city shall be opened to us.
 
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailAIM Address
Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Mar 19 2008 03:50 pm Reply with quote Back to top

GPFontaine wrote:
No porn bill boards on highways

When do you see ever porn billboards? I wish I saw porn billboards. That would kickass if I was driving down 128 and then suddenly there's a giant billboard of Bree Olson eating out Paulina James. Hell, why don't we have that? All the billboards I see tell me that I should "Eat at McDonald's" or that I should "Help the Homeless" or that I should "have heatlth insurance". Fuck you billboard, you can't tell me how to live my life!
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's websiteAIM Address
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Mar 19 2008 04:06 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
GPFontaine wrote:
No porn bill boards on highways

When do you see ever porn billboards? I wish I saw porn billboards. That would kickass if I was driving down 128 and then suddenly there's a giant billboard of Bree Olson eating out Paulina James. Hell, why don't we have that? All the billboards I see tell me that I should "Eat at McDonald's" or that I should "Help the Homeless" or that I should "have heatlth insurance". Fuck you billboard, you can't tell me how to live my life!


RT 91 & 84 in CT.

They put little fuzzy dots over private parts, but they ae Ads for sex shops and strip clubs.



 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
PostPosted: Mar 19 2008 09:27 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Where did you get your Death Penalty information? I have a Panel Discussion i'm working on and our Policy question is what should be done about Recidivism for prisoners. That would seem like a good read.


Image
Game Update Coming "Soon"!
 
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailAIM Address
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Mar 19 2008 10:22 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Douche McCallister wrote:
Where did you get your Death Penalty information? I have a Panel Discussion i'm working on and our Policy question is what should be done about Recidivism for prisoners. That would seem like a good read.


I did a research paper on it in 8th grade. That would be back in 1994 Smile

But here is some more current information.

A quick search on the web will bring up lots of newer facts.
http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/article.php?did=108#financialfacts

It looks like it can cost upwards of 250 million per case.

How much it costs to keep someone alive in prison per year:
http://www.uscourts.gov/newsroom/prisoncost.html
~$24,000

The youngest a person has ever been charged as an adult in court is 10 years old.
Life expectancy in prison is usualy reduced by ~50% or so.

The average American lifespan is ~77 years old.

So, 77/2 = 38.5 - 10 = 28.5 years X 24,000 = $684,000



 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
PostPosted: Mar 20 2008 09:08 am Reply with quote Back to top

GPFontaine wrote:
Murdar Machene wrote:
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy...


What did I write that was Racist?


Murdar Machene wrote:
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit


I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.

I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.

List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary.


Here's an issue I'd like to see you handle as president: Shutting up Cool
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's websiteAIM Address
Mario Buster:Buster Mario
Joined: Dec 18 2007
PostPosted: Mar 20 2008 09:23 am Reply with quote Back to top

GPFontaine wrote:
Murdar Machene wrote:
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy...


What did I write that was Racist?


Murdar Machene wrote:
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit


I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.

I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.

List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary.


You definitely have the makings of a president. My jaw dropped at how you actually seriously replied to that.

It really makes we wonder, is he serious? How can someone post a list of blatantly hopeless, radical, stupid ideas that demonstrates a total absence of knowledge on U.S government. But you really did it, it was pretty sub-par as far as humor goes when I was reading it, and wasn't taking it seriously because of the sheer stupidity involved, but shit, you gave a SERIOUS, GENUINE reply to criticism. You asked for constructive criticism.

There is nothing constructive you can do to your list, it is like a termite-infested shithole with a styrofoam foundation, leaning to one side that happens to be inches from the edge of a cliff.

That being said, I enjoyed your post, never give up.



 
View user's profileSend private message
GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
PostPosted: Mar 20 2008 09:46 am Reply with quote Back to top

Murdar Machene wrote:
GPFontaine wrote:
Murdar Machene wrote:
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy...


What did I write that was Racist?


Murdar Machene wrote:
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit


I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.

I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.

List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary.


Here's an issue I'd like to see you handle as president: Shutting up Cool


Murdar, perhaps you wish that I were nt writing? I haven't been speaking.

So if you had no eyes would this problem be solved?



 
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
PostPosted: Mar 20 2008 10:22 am Reply with quote Back to top

GPFontaine wrote:
Murdar Machene wrote:
GPFontaine wrote:
Murdar Machene wrote:
Your campaign motto should be Racist Guy...


What did I write that was Racist?


Murdar Machene wrote:
...Who's Overly Concerned With Useless Bullshit


I would guess that most of this useless bullshit impacts your life a lot more than the debate about abortion, gay marriage, or most of the other heated topics that tend to be discussed but never actually worked on.

I think that the little things matter. Misappropriation of government resources is a huge problem that costs everyone money.

List a few topics you want handled by a president. Perhaps I can better assist you if you were more constructive with your commentary.


Here's an issue I'd like to see you handle as president: Shutting up Cool


Murdar, perhaps you wish that I were nt writing? I haven't been speaking.

So if you had no eyes would this problem be solved?


Here's an issue I'd like to see you handling on the forum: Shutting up Cool
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's websiteAIM Address
Mario Buster:Buster Mario
Joined: Dec 18 2007
PostPosted: Mar 20 2008 10:25 am Reply with quote Back to top

GPFontaine wrote:


Murdar, perhaps you wish that I were nt writing? I haven't been speaking.

So if you had no eyes would this problem be solved?



Splitting hairs: To argue about an inconsequential and trivial aspect of an issue

Your political skills are in perfect form Cool



 
View user's profileSend private message
Douche McCallister
Moderator
Title: DOO-SHAY
Joined: Jan 26 2007
Location: Private Areas
PostPosted: Mar 20 2008 05:16 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I may just be assuming things but could Buster possibly be Murdar's alter-ego?


Image
Game Update Coming "Soon"!
 
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailAIM Address
Display posts from previous:      
This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

 
 Jump to: