SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - In loving memory of Raymond Scott "Hacker" Bishop

Joined: Aug 24 2005 Location: Mount Holly, NJ Posts: 1062

I've not posted here in some time, and I have the tendency to re-appear for a few weeks, then disappear again for a long period of time. So, my experience with hacker was pretty sporadic. I remember him as an annoying kid, then growing into a more mature, young adult. He was enthusiastic about everything, and seemed to love the community here.

Rest easy, hacker. You reminded me of what a tight-knit, amazing community Sydlexia represents. For that, I thank you.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

For quite some time, Hacker was a friend through Steam. Every once in a while we would chat while we gamed.

I haven't been able to remove his name from the list. It isn't a technical problem. I just don't feel ready to delete his name. Watching the time since his last login has been a way of keeping him in my memory and trying to accept the unfortunate reality of the situation.

So today when I logged into Steam and saw this... for 1/10th of a second, I had hope that perhaps this was all not real.

Then I noticed that everyone had the same time... Steam had a server issue. Everyone on my list had their "Last Online" timer reset.

Sad

Posted: Dec 22 2014 09:44 am

I'm very shocked and saddened to find out about this. Sad

Hacker, may you Rest in Peace.

Joined: Jan 08 2015 Location: St. John's Posts: 1

I may be really late to this, but I only just saw this post.

A few years ago, I was a member here. I mostly just lurked the forums, I never posted a whole lot. I don't even remember my old username.
But one night, about 2 years ago, I was feeling really sad, and fed up with my life. I didn't really wanna go on.
So I joined the IRC chat to see what it was all about, and there were a few people in the chat. I spent 3 hours in there feeling better than I had in weeks, everyone was able to cheer me up. Especially Hacker, he was a pretty nice and funny guy.

This post is kind of a mess, and doesn't have much point to it. All I wanted to say was that I'm really shocked, and I hope that Hacker can rest peacefully.

Posted: Jan 10 2015 01:52 am

I know I'm late here but I haven't been to this site in longer than I care to admit as I normally would at least drop by ever so often to make sure I wasn't missing anything new. But anyway, I didn't know Hacker at all really, and all I can remember of him is when he started that thread pleading with Syd to either start putting out new content or leave the site to the community, and I made a some stupid crack about him being Syd's first stalker. I wish that instead of saying that I had actually tried getting to know him. I pray he is in a better place and that his family is able to cope with this loss. He was so young and it saddens me a great deal even though I didn't know him, so my heart goes out to those of you here who did and I hope you have been able to come to terms with the pain of losing this friend.

Title: Miss Madness 99 Joined: Sep 09 2012 Posts: 222

JohnnyBenz wrote:

I made a some stupid crack about him being Syd's first stalker..

Actually I was Syd's first stalker. Hacker was actually more normal in his admiration. He had just alot of enthusiasm which can be mistaken for the true creepiness I myself exhibit.

Posted: Jan 15 2015 04:43 pm

Today would be Hacker's birthday. Happy birthday Scotty.

Posted: Jan 15 2015 05:51 pm

Bad enough he ended it all just weeks before the holidays, but with his birthday not much further ahead?

Posted: Jan 15 2015 07:37 pm

Damn. Happy birthday and RIP.

Joined: Aug 05 2008 Location: CA Posts: 867

Not sure if this is a good idea but I just posted a comment on the YouTube video I previously posted.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7o8vz-KeZv0&client=mv-google

Just wanted his family to know that members here at Sydlexia cared about him too.

Comment if you want....

For the record I'm Gunner Mac Rae in the comments.

Posted: Jan 15 2015 10:44 pm

Posted: Jan 16 2015 03:34 pm

Today is the first time I've checked the site in nearly a year. I haven't really interacted with any of my old Sydlexian family in quite some time, so I didn't know about this until I checked the site an hour ago. I'm crying here. I couldn't last more than a minute on that video. I keep hoping it's a joke.

Like many of you, I had a love/hate relationship with Scotty. I actually got very close to him (as close as you can online, I suppose) because he and I and some others had our own IRC channel. For well over a year, I probably spoke to him at least once a day online. He was a knucklehead, but I always loved him because he wasn't malicious. I used to bust his balls relentlessly for his naivety and his struggle with maintaining his devotion to Mormonism. He'd return the favor, and neither of us took it to heart.

I truly wish I had known that he was having financial problems. If I had stuck around more I would have. I know it's not productive to think in "what ifs", but whatever. I can't believe how devastated I am over this. Having a son of my own, and imagining him doing this is crushing me.

Posted: Jan 16 2015 07:40 pm

Glad to see you back, Klim. Even under these circumstances.

Posted: Jan 17 2015 12:10 am

I'm really torn here. I feel so heavily for the family, and for Hacker himself. However I admit to fair amount of anger as well, I've dealt with suicide in my family and it's an incredibly ugly selfish and unreasonably devastating thing to inflict upon those that you leave behind.

It's one of the most selfish thing one can do at least in my honest opinion, under most circumstances that is.

Just take this as a lesson, none of us are islands, rather we are all pebbles thrown in to the water surrounding the islands, what kind of ripples do you want to make?

Man. If we are feeling like this, just imagine how much rawer this is to his direct friends and family. Sad

This just reminds me of how precious life is, and of the choices we make. Oddly enough right around this time a mutual friend of me and my significant other had a public meltdown that almost ended just this, but it was in broad daylight on facebook so everyone talked them off the overpass and someone was able to swoop them up.

I totally understand the panic everyone described when they tried to respond to the initial post. I didn't realize it wasn't a joke in poor taste when I saw the article, it didn't sink in until I saw the thread and the various links and posts.

Damn you guys, what a bummer. Sad

It's good to see everyone, I wish it were under better circumstances.

Posted: Jan 24 2015 12:13 am

Klimbatize wrote:

Having a son of my own, and imagining him doing this is crushing me.

This. This...one million times. My grandfather and father both fell victim to suicide so I can only pray that I can break the cycle for me and my son.

Watching that video is heart wrenching. Not sure I could go on in life if this happened to my son. Really hammers home how much is riding on me as a parent to not screw this up.

Posted: Jan 24 2015 12:56 am

I feel quite horrendous for being as late to this news as I am, and I, myself, never was super close to Hacker, but it's very unsettling. It almost felt like we got to grow up together as teens on these forums, and I think I, all Sydlexians, and the people that knew Hacker in person have all lost a great man. May he rest well and easy wherever he's gone.

Posted: Jan 26 2015 02:07 pm

Wow.....just, wow, very sad to see this news....RIP Hacker.

And anyone beating themselves up about it, please don't...there is only so much you can do for someone that is sick, let alone do it through the internet...we can hope he is in a happier place.

Posted: Jan 29 2015 12:52 am

What a shitty thing to find out about coming back.

As I get older, I think, I've been in dark places before. 21 was 12 years ago for me, and I've done so much in those 12 years I'd have never gotten to do if it'd stopped then... gotten married, had kids (the youngest of which is now just over a month old)...

I think of all these things I'd have missed out on if life had stopped at 21, and now, it's saddening to think of what might have happened for him if he kept going.

Rest in peace.

Posted: Jan 29 2015 06:45 pm

Good to see you again, Undeath. I've caught some updates on your Facebook on occasion and you seem to have a nice little life together. 21 was only 5 years ago for me and I agree, it's really sad to think of everything he could have done. But if nothing else, he brought us all back together, which I think would make him extremely happy

Posted: Jan 29 2015 07:01 pm

How fucked up is it that it took one of us dying for that to happen?

Joined: Aug 05 2008 Location: CA Posts: 867

jprime wrote:

How fucked up is it that it took one of us dying for that to happen?

Still he was really passionate about this site. He constantly talked about it in IRC and vai the phone with me. It is really sad he made the decision he did but in a weird way he accomplished what he wanted and wherever he may be, he has gotten what he wanted.

Posted: Jan 29 2015 11:16 pm

well, in a weird way, with all of us coming back, I suppose it was a good thing, especially if he liked this site so much.

Posted: Feb 18 2015 02:08 am

Holy Shit. Woodzy informed me via Facebook. I'm deployed in the Middle East right now and well, even before that it's been a while since I've been on here. I've got the similar story as everyone else. Always had a soft spot for the kid. It honestly breaks my heart.

As we say in the Navy...

Fair Winds and Following Seas Scotty. Rest Easy.

Posted: Feb 19 2015 08:06 am

Came back to the forums out of curiosity for the first time since 2011.

Found this out.

Jesus fucking christ, Scotty. Godspeed, wherever you are.

My Youtube Channel · Posted: Feb 21 2015 10:02 pm

Wow, I pop in to check on things and see this absolutely crushing piece of news. We may not have gotten along at first but in time he matured into a pretty cool guy. I guess I didn't know him extremely well but we had our share of meaningful conversations and this is still really hard to hear. Rest in peace, Scott.