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RPG Dick Moves


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aeonic
Title: Sporadic Poster
Joined: Nov 19 2009
Location: Kissimmee, FL
PostPosted: Mar 29 2012 11:32 am Reply with quote Back to top

So, I've been thinking about some old rpgs that I've played in over the years, and I guess I have to consider myself lucky to have only encountered a few dick moves in the past on the part of DM/Gamemasters/whatever you call them. Here's two of the worst:

The first one was in a forum-based pbp (3.5) that was set in Waterdeep. The party consisted of a juvenile annis hag, a succubus (both done under Savage Species rules), a fighter/rogue (my PC), and a hexblade/favored soul of Beshaba. There was another party as well, apparently comprised of all the DM's RL pals; despite starting at the same time, they got to be level 3 to start and we were level 1. I guess that should've tipped me off in the first place, but I figured, okay, it's kind of a sandbox game, we can deal with it. No, it wasn't. The DM engineered it so both parties ended up on different missions that led to the same place (some noble's villa north of Waterdeep); our party delivered a magic spear, I forget what the other one did. We'd fought some ghouls and a few other really low-level monsters and hit 2nd level (which was where the multiclassing happened) while the other party had somehow managed to get to fifth level across the board despite fewer combats and, overall, fewer posts and shittier PCs. What does this fucker do? Throws both parties into Ravenloft (specifically, Expedition to Castle Ravenloft), an adventure for four-to-six 3rd to 5th level PCs. While we're fighting our way up Old Svalich Road against Strahd zombies and varghouilles and very nearly dying in the process, they took a different portion of the same road and pretty much walked inside. My whole party (which included my wife and her sister) quit en masse when the other party effortlessly destroyed a blaspheme named Doru (a CR 9 creature) and didn't take a hit in the process. Later on, under a different name, this guy joined one of my games, threw a hissyfit when I started him a level behind other established PCs (third vs. fourth), and then stole my whole site layout and all the rules I had posted. If he ever sees this, fuck you, Calrond. Fuck you in your face, you thieving hack.

The other one resulted in my removal from and (presumably, I have not tried to re-attend) permanent banning from CoSCon in Butler, PA. I was seventeen at the time, so yeah, I probably needed some impulse control. What it boils down to is, by some creative thinking on the PCs parts, we totally managed to derail this guy's 'big bad's' plans in a 2e D&D game; we'd freed the guy's dungeon captives, beaten all of his minions, and were on the verge of beating his NPC main villain to within an inch of his life. It was an armored knighty-type bad guy with the standard delusions of grandeur, replete with a throne mounted in the lowest portion of a ruined temple/dungeon complex, and yet we were bouncing him around like a fucking puppet thanks to spells like Heat Metal, ranged attacks, and then closing with basically the whole group around him just wailing on him with anything on hand and getting beautifully lucky rolls. What does he do? Somehow, he had the NPC break free when he was totally surrounded, run to the throne and activate some sort of bullshit trap that surrounds him with a wall of force while simultaneously caving the ceiling in on everyone (inescapable trap). Everyone was incensed when he uttered those awful, mind-destroying words, "Rocks fall, everyone dies... except the bad guy." Well, yeah, I went a little overboard. I got up, called him a giant piece of shit, and threw most of a gas station cup full of soda into his face after taking the lid off. The other players even clapped, and yeah, it was a dumb thing to do, but it was either that or hit him. Funny part is, my Mom actually thanked me for doing it (she took me up there and was apparently bored to shit the whole time, since it was a 3-day con) and took me to get ice cream afterwards. We also got a refund on the last day's hotel room charges since they made us leave. I guess, in retrospect, what really pissed me off was that I'd had to register for this fucking game, by mail (this is really pre-Net registration and the like), and this asshole wasted four hours of my time with his ineptitude and seething desire for a TPK. Fucking greybeard douchenozzle.

So, anyone else have stories about incompetent/shitty DMs or the like? Or even players for that matter? Or am I just fucking crazy and take RPGs way too seriously?


Who likes role-playing games? Me. Way too goddamn much.
 
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Sehkmaenzo
Joined: Jun 29 2010
PostPosted: Mar 29 2012 12:28 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Hahaha oh man yeah I have some of these Very Happy Sadly, since most of my RPG games were either way too long ago for me to remember, or with me as the DM, I won't be able to provide examples of good DM dickery. Player on Player dickery, now that's another story entirely.

We were playing GURPS, and the party was like three people (Standard "we'll just play on the lunch break" RPG business, no time to get a lot of people together), A warrior, a mage, and this other dude I can't even remember because he got eaten in like 20 minutes and stormed off (I suppose getting him eaten in 20 minutes counts as DM dickery, but he jumped inside the gaping maw of a fucking sand worm-like creature. Tough luck). So, anyway, we're pushing through, and the mage gets himself picked off the ground by a Griffon trying to protect the horse carrying their cart. I tell him the griffon is taking him to its nest in this mountain nearby, which is exactly where they wanted to go. But the warrior is scared of walking there alone, so he says he's shooting the griffon off the air (much to the dismay of the mage, considering his complaining). It's a tricky shot, but he manages to roll a critical hit and flat out murder the Griffon out of the sky. So now we have a very angry falling mage, heading towards the hard rocky ground. Warrior dude asks if he has time to position the cart the horse was carrying to break his friend's fall. By any sort of logic he doesn't, but what the hell, we still have 40 minutes on our lunch break and I didn't want the game to basically end then and there, so I say "sure". They had all their supplies in there, including like sleeping bags and backpacks, so I was willing to rule that the mage would be fucked up, but alive. "but it'll break the cart, the tent sticks, and the two spears you have in there" I added as an afterthought.
I've never seen someone calculate the value of a friend so fast.
Results: The adventure did end then and there, the warrior got hit with a fireball as a last fuck you from the mage and cratered face first into death, which made the warrior become too fucked up to either go back to town or continue the journey (Not that he would anyways, he was scared as hell to play solo). So, we ate lunch quietly and these two never played in the same party ever again :O

A small one of all around fail (prompted mostly by me being the shoddiest DM ever back then, but what the hell, I was 12) was when we had this 6 player party, and they had just walked into a dungeon. So, I throw the infamous line "You walk into the dungeon bravely, when suddenly... Which one of you was leading the party again?" (Yeah, masterful DMing right there). So, everyone instantly figured out what was about to happen, and they were about to brainstorm who was more capable to taking damage from the trap I obviously had there, when the noob (Who hasn't said A WORD this entire time) shouts out "We have no leaders! We walk side by side, like great friends!"
Six heroes fell into a pit xD We couldn't even play after that, we were laughing so hard Very Happy
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aeonic
Title: Sporadic Poster
Joined: Nov 19 2009
Location: Kissimmee, FL
PostPosted: Mar 29 2012 12:58 pm Reply with quote Back to top

That second one is more awesome than awful. Those types of games, where everything goes to crap and nobody can recover, are usually wonderful even if they make you lose some gaming time.


Who likes role-playing games? Me. Way too goddamn much.
 
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Sehkmaenzo
Joined: Jun 29 2010
PostPosted: Mar 29 2012 01:05 pm Reply with quote Back to top

True. It was quite full of fail from my part, but it made my week back then Very Happy
(I guess I just wanted to share that story Smile )
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Apr 05 2012 07:51 am Reply with quote Back to top

As many of you know, I am a big fan of MTG. One day, in high school, the guy whose house we played Magic at decided he wanted to DM a D&D campaign instead. I was not interested in this at all. I spent all of my starting money on sheep instead of equipment and declared myself to be Ramroth, King of the Sheep. I was dead within about 5 minutes, and the rest of the game quickly derailed from there. Within 20 minutes, we were playing MTG.
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Probable Muppet
Joined: Aug 05 2008
Location: CA
PostPosted: Apr 05 2012 08:00 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I have a pretty interesting, recent RPG experience that might apply to this topic, but as I am typing it I am starting to realize that it is going to be a long post, or a series of multiple posts and don't want to derail the thread with TLDR.
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Probable Muppet
Joined: Aug 05 2008
Location: CA
PostPosted: Apr 05 2012 10:22 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Note: Sorry, this is going to be a long one, I will put the separate sessions into spoiler tags...

Well I am going to use this thread to rant a little because I feel that the current game I joined might apply, and I am fairly certain it will turn pretty laughable in the near future.

In a roundabout way, I recently came back into contact with some old co-workers of mine from about 6 years back after a good friend moved in with them. A little back story is needed to put some things into perspective. These guys are actually a lot of fun to hang around with, they are really quite intelligent and I do not mean to talk badly about these people directly. However, they definitely have their quirks, they are all old school gamers (table top and video games), they are quite a lot older than me being in their 40's and want nothing more out of life than to play their games, they are the epitome of old nerd sages. Not necessarily the lifestyle I would choose at their age but more power to them, they make it all sound like tons of fun when they talk about their old gaming exploits whether it be old Everquest days or old D&D campaigns.

There are currently five of them living together in a four bedroom apartment with a loft, one of them being my old friend who couldn't look more out of place living there. When you walk in to apartment the first thing you see is four PC rigs all with 30-40 inch HDMI TVs talking the place of monitors, with fantasy elven desktops. Star wars/video game posters on the wall, magic cards, RPG books, collector's edition video games, Marvel statues, miniatures and boxes of this stuff everywhere.

Anyways, a couple of weeks ago, I went out to eat with a couple of them to catch up. They mentioned that they are starting a tabletop game and wondered if I wanted to join. The system is Rifts, and if I recall Aeonic did a rant on Palladium in a thread a couple months ago, and I immediately thought of this when they mentioned Rifts. I remember enough about the system that if it was my decision I would choose a different system. Seeing the books in comic book stores when I was a teenager and having been bored enough to flip through them. I specifically remember the setting being pretty flimsy, almost like a 14 year old decided to shove every single mythology, fantasy and sci-fi setting into one world before covering it in an 80's B movie sheen.

Years ago, I recall one of these guys telling me about an Atlantean themed Rifts game they played way past any semblance of normal RPG gaming where their characters where all Galactus sized demi gods floating around in space traveling back in fourth in time to prevent each other's births and other nonsense ad nauseum. This game apparently went on for years before it turned into this free for all PK god killing death match. This is sort of gaming is of course utterly ridiculous, but the point is I knew this going in and sort of said I would play out of some sort of sick fascination. Maybe that is a bad reason to join a gaming group but I don't care.

Also, the guy that is DMing the game mentioned that he was also going to play a character along with the rest of us. He stated that the character would be used as a power barometer for the parties power, meaning it would be significantly more powerful than the rest of the party and I suspect, would be used to railroad the party into plot points.

Session 1:
[SPOILER:d84ea2f949]Last Sunday was the first session. I showed up to their apartment with some energy drinks and my laptop and start making my character. I am flipping through the books looking for a class to choose asking the DM what the other two players picked. One guy picked a Rogue-Scientist/Ape-Man with a monkey familiar that I was told was basically just a skill bot with little combat proficiency. The other player, a female, is playing a Mystic with a bunch of healy, doctor skills. So I figured I would pick a Human Headhunter, as it has combat proficiency and comes with some guns and armor.

So as I start making my guy, the DM starts running the campaign for the other two players. They start out on a California highway (which for the record, the DM ruled that California still exists in the Rifts setting) and they're on their way to the ocean for some reason. I ask the DM if he has notes or anything written out for this campaign, his response was that it is all in his head. As I am making my character I am listening in to the session and it becomes pretty apparent that the other two players spent little to know time actually making their characters, as they do not know how much money they have or what skills they possess. There is a lot of looking things up in the books ect. as they attempt to do all sorts of banal shit like fishing, bathing, making food(and soap), hunting ect., which I figured was kinda important at the start of a long journey to the ocean, so whatever.
Also, it might be important to note that the other two players decided against taking a auto and instead decided to pick horses as transportation, their reason being that they don't want their (free) vehicle stolen. So as they make their way down the highway at a snail's pace, they stop and camp every night, where the "interesting" stuff starts to happen. The female PC is psi sensitive and has weird dreams about the area being filled with large blue floating bubbles that are naked to the eye before they are both awoken by skunks which they fail to kill for food and get sprayed. This of course prompts the two players to bathe again for a large part of the next day and make more soap.

At the same time, trying to not be a huge interrupting newb, I attempt to ask some questions about my character during pauses in the game play. I am having a little trouble figuring out my character as it is starting to seem a little overpowered to me in the equipment area. I get to pick five guns and ask the DM which guns I can pick from, he doesn't seem to care so I get a variety of weapons; A Laser Rifle, Laser Pistol, Vibro sword, grenade launcher and some grenades. But looking at the cost of these weapons I get for free I am getting a little concerned. But with DM approval my guy ends up being a powerhouse armed to the teeth with fuck loads of guns, a bunch of bionics, a shoulder mounted missile launcher wearing two layers of armor, including a flying Power armor that travels 200 Miles an hour. To gimp him a little I make him a "Lawful Good" paranoid schizophrenic that is scared of magic. I name him Castle, he has 300 credits in his pocket and could never dream of buying extra ammo for his guns in the foreseeable future.

So after my character is finished and the other players get to a point where it is safe to catch my character up for introduction, the two other players start playing MMORPGs and the DM starts a one on one session with me. To make this long story shorter than it has to be, I start looking for mercenary work in small towns along the highway hoping to run into the other party members. After failing to find some grumpy shop keepers horse for 500 credits I fly into a strange bubble of reality where the world looks like it did in our current time except the pavement road is metallic sounding when my power armor walks on it. After failing to find any work in and around town after hanging around for a couple days I start to meta game a little after the DM tells me I have moved 200 miles or so in the wrong direction from the two other players. I just want to get the game rolling.

After finally meeting up with the two other players, and from my experience in knowing the roads a little better than they do they agree to take me along. Comically, I start hovering at a leisurely pace in my fancy flying power armor, with weapons strapped to every part of my body, 50 yards behind these two PCs on horses that look like they walked off the set of Lord of the Rings, and Planet of the Apes.

They then spend the next hour of real game time attempting to get the horses they brought from shitting themselves to death after drinking toxic water as I stand guard. Then after rolling dice for what seems like too long for the interest of fun to fish for food (for what amount and what weight of fish we caught), then another 15 minutes preserving the food with rolls before we finally come across the bubble anomaly.

I tell the party that I safely travelled through the bubble twice before, coming through and back this way after visiting the small town on the other side. The psi sensitive female can detect no evil, and no danger from the disturbance, and the DM is strongly hinting that there is no danger in entering the thing. Despite this the Monkey Man is skeptical, so he decides to rip a tree branch off and prod at it, it just dematerializes as he moves it in and out of the bubble (and does not break). My character keeps attempting to get them to just go through the damn bubble to the town on the other side, after some arguing they decide to walk around the perimeter of the bubble. To do this I make the decision to pull my vibro sword out stick it into it and start walking, to gauge the location of the invisible bubble. A few feet later the DM states that my vibro sword is busted, cut in half at the place it entered into the anomaly. A little miffed I say "Wait What?, The tree branch was just fine entering in and out of this thing, I travelled through this twice before?" The DMs response is that it "doesn't like inorganic things", making no sense what so ever having flown through the thing wearing two layers of high tech armor, bionics, and all my weapons (this sword included), I still don't get his logic. In the end he just sort of hints openly that he wants to get rid of some of my gear...

Whatever...

I have no real problem with this if logic was involved, but this is sort of why I asked him multiple times what equipment I was allowed in the first place. This becomes even more ironic when his character is introduced.

Now I am even more paranoid than the others in entering the thing but the DM eventually just says "everyone just go through it, it's okay none of your stuff will break." I shake my head as we pass through it to the other side. We wrap up the session by rolling for more fishing, food making tent pitching activities and go to sleep for the night.

After a 7 hour session, we end it...

I am a little worried that Rifts to these people is about rolling for insignificant things, eating, sleeping, and poop jokes. Actually. I started to notice that the DM was getting a little annoyed at the other two players as they seem to be more concerned with how hungry or tired their characters and horses are and when they need to take another bath in the river.
[/SPOILER:d84ea2f949]

Session 2:
[SPOILER:d84ea2f949]I arrive at the apartment for the second session yesterday and everyone starts to set up, the DM meanwhile starts rolling his OP characters stats. He has me come over and see that he really did roll 3 6's twice on 4 D6, although I suspect that the dice were turned before I checked them. I don't care anyways...

He spends an hour creating his character. He had already planned out this character and basically used a few different Palladium supplements to break the game, and create a Min/Maxed monster PC. A female (because of bonuses for being a female), Atlantean, Undead Hunter thingy that uses tattoo magic or some shit. By the time he was done, he had a 7 foot 5 inch beauty queen, that had stats in the low to high 20's at level one (10 points over any of our characters), that could fly naturally, and although the character is basically naked, can do some Fuck tons of mega damage with a simple punch. Oh also, it has a natural fear aura that causes everything to approach it to have to pass a check or run away in horror.

Anyways, he finishes his PC and we start of where we left off. Our characters had just gotten to sleep, but sometime in the night a hobo tries to steal some shit from us before we give the poor guy some food and send him on his way for alignment reasons. The next day we wake up to the hobo bugging us for some more for food. We scare him off before the other two PCs decided to do what they do best, spend too much time worrying about food and bathing. I decide to bathe too, at which point the DM asks me if my character is interested in "Sexing up" the female PC, awkwardly I answer in the negative which then prompts him to question my characters sexuality. I tell him that I decide not to bathe...

As we finally set out to the town down the road. The hobo from the night before begins to trial us. Getting pretty annoyed with the guy I decide that I would try and knock him unconscious with the butt of one of my guns. The DM tells me to roll for restrained punch damage, forgetting that I am wearing power armor, the DM tells me that I do 3 Mega Damage to the guys head, popping it off, he then tells me to be careful in that my alignment could be affected.

Now, I don't want to be a dick, but I pretty clearly communicated that I did not want to kill him, and being a new RPGer, was pretty careful to not kill him and asked the proper steps to prevent this from happening. But the DM stated after checking the Rifts books that my power armor could do no less than 1 Mega Damage on even a restrained punch and that that was more than enough to obliterate the poor hobos head.

I should also note that the DM decided that the hobo was trailing us after spending a bunch of time searching through the Vampire book looking for a NPC for us to kill. After failing to find the one he wanted and having note prepared any sort of NPCs ahead of time for the game at all he just backpedaled to the "hobo is following you again", apologizing for him not having been prepared. Also, I found it hard to believe a vampire would be stalking us at 10 AM on a hot sunny day and he agreed...

Whatever. We eventually make it into town and the other two players decide to do some shopping. I decide to stand guard outside and at this point am paranoid to even take off my flying power armor to leave it parked out of the store in fear that the DM would have it GTA'd. I even went so far to ask him if the armor could be safely parked and secured from theft. Basically the answer was no because the rule book had no information on this...

So I am standing outside awkwardly guarding the horses, as the anti technology towns folk give me the evil eye as they pass. I am hassled by what I could only describe as Pokemon's Team Rocket a few minutes later after the DM forgot the proper name of this group of people after looking for it in the rule books for a few minutes for it.

The other two players take over at this point as they are "shopping" at the general store. This is where things get really, really painful. They spend literally half an hour of real time asking the shop keeper what sorts of food he has in stock. It goes something like this:

Player: "Does he have any peanuts"

DM: "Yes, a 2 pound bag costs 10 credits"

Player: "I'll give you 8 credits and do you have any salt"

DM: "Yes he has both rock salt, and um "normal" kind of salt, also roll a D20"

Player: " What's the difference?"

Other Player: interrupting, "Does he have any candy"

DM: "No, candy is really, really rare, it's used as a currency in Rifts"

Player: "Does he have any potatoes?

DM: "yes 10 credits for a dozen, hey are you keeping track of this"

Player: "No, how much money have I spent?"

Other Player: interrupting "Does he have any watermelons, wait those are too big anyways, does he have any pears"

DM: "No that was all-ready asked for..."

Again, this goes on for about half an hour. Being bored out of my mind start playing Diablo III as they shop, my character standing guard in the hot sun. The DM is visibly annoyed with the other players increasing strange fascination with eating and acquiring food.

Of course after they are done, the decided to hit up the bar to eat...

I play along and my character, paranoid about leaving his power armor outside fumbles through the saloon door in full gear, the other players being paranoid that their horses will now get stolen. My character however, being a mercenary is hoping to find some work and wants to chat up the patrons in a chance we might actually get to do something besides eating, sleeping and bathing.

However, the DM decides this is where he wants to introduce his PC. He spends far too long describing how beautiful she is and that everyone in the bar is staring at her half naked form in awe. He then mentions that if we approach her we have to make fear checks because of her fear aura. My character just sits at the bar and talks up the bartender for work while on the other side of the room the two other PCs fail the fear checks and run in horror from the bar (the Ape Man's monkey familiar makes the roll and gets to stay inside).

I mention that this is a little ridiculous, as I want to get to progressing the story along and that this fear check thing could be a problem if he expects us to be friends. You can tell the DM gets off on how awesome it is his character has this ability and then states that her beauty has a similar effect. After finally making a check to approach her after a ridiculous amount of effort, running in an out of the bar in full power armor for reasons unclear to my character, I manage to sit down next to the PC and begin to question her regarding strange anomalies in the area, she agrees to let use come along with her after convincing her that we are worthy and the DM prompts us to do any last shopping before the store closes for the night and we find a place to stay for the night...

End of session 2.
[/SPOILER:d84ea2f949]
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Sehkmaenzo
Joined: Jun 29 2010
PostPosted: Apr 06 2012 10:15 am Reply with quote Back to top

Damn Muppet, that was terrible D:
Did you go to more sessions, or was this the point where you called quits and peed on the DM's car's door handle?
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Probable Muppet
Joined: Aug 05 2008
Location: CA
PostPosted: Apr 06 2012 02:25 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Nah, this is an ongoing game. The next session is next Sunday or Wednesday, not sure when.
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Fighter_McWarrior
Title: Gun of Brixton
Joined: Jun 05 2011
Location: Down by the River
PostPosted: Apr 06 2012 03:21 pm Reply with quote Back to top

That sounds hugely retarded, Muppet. Sorry to hear that.


"Spanish bombs, yot' quierro y finito
Yo te querda oh ma corazón
Oh ma corazón, oh ma corazón" - The Clash, Spanish Bombs
 
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SoldierHawk
Moderator
Title: Warrior-Poet
Joined: Jan 15 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
PostPosted: Apr 06 2012 04:32 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Wow. I am strangely fascinated by this tale PM. I hope you'll keep us updated for as long as you have the stomach to play.


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William Shakespeare wrote:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

 
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Probable Muppet
Joined: Aug 05 2008
Location: CA
PostPosted: Apr 07 2012 05:34 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah,

It's kinda fun actually, just for the wrong reasons. I feel guilty for going at this point, but when I go I am not going to the sessions to mock them or their game, I will continue to attempt and get the game going in a sensible direction, at least from the stand point of my character. Given the first couple sessions though, I doubt this game will "normalize" anytime soon.

I also plan to draw their characters. I am starting with my own and then moving to theirs after I get a clearer understanding of them, which could take a few sessions...

However the DM even stated that most of the games he starts don't tend to make it very far...
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lordsathien
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
PostPosted: Apr 12 2012 10:25 am Reply with quote Back to top

Awesome and painful stories PM.

Also Sehk, regarding your first tale. What respectible mage doesn't keep a featherfall spell prepared for just such emergencies?


"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
 
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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: a von down by the river
PostPosted: Apr 12 2012 10:35 am Reply with quote Back to top

A friend of mine played an pen and paper rpg called "Das Schwarze Auge" (english: The Black Eye) and some fellow player playing a Paladin raped him while he was asleep at night. A dick move. Literally.


it was the best of times
it was the blurst of times
 
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Fighter_McWarrior
Title: Gun of Brixton
Joined: Jun 05 2011
Location: Down by the River
PostPosted: May 11 2012 03:23 am Reply with quote Back to top

Soooo, Muppet. Whatever happened with this?

This shit is fascinating. Mostly because it's so stupid.


"Spanish bombs, yot' quierro y finito
Yo te querda oh ma corazón
Oh ma corazón, oh ma corazón" - The Clash, Spanish Bombs
 
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Probable Muppet
Joined: Aug 05 2008
Location: CA
PostPosted: May 11 2012 07:56 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Fighter_McWarrior wrote:
Soooo, Muppet. Whatever happened with this?

This shit is fascinating. Mostly because it's so stupid.


We played one other session after what was posted, however not much happened besides more of the same old shopping for food, making food action. I decided not to post an update until something more interesting came up.

Unfortunatly The game has been postponed the last two weeks due to them moving apartments. We were actually supposed to have the game again this past Wednesday but it didnt happen for a third week for reasons related to them moving.

Not too sure when it will happen again, as I am certain I will probably make the choice next week to not attend due to Diablo III coming out.
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
PostPosted: May 12 2012 05:25 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Well at least no one suggested playing FATAL.



 
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Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
PostPosted: May 12 2012 10:30 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Probable Muppet wrote:
He then mentions that if we approach her we have to make fear checks because of her fear aura. My character just sits at the bar and talks up the bartender for work while on the other side of the room the two other PCs fail the fear checks and run in horror from the bar (the Ape Man's monkey familiar makes the roll and gets to stay inside).
Hahaha, this part killed me. I just imagine you adventuring with the Rifts version of Pearl and Bobo from MST3K.


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Skinr
Title: Minituae Guru
Joined: Jul 17 2010
Location: Elsinore
PostPosted: Sep 24 2012 05:09 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Sorry for the necro, but I felt I had to share this.

So we're playing Pathfinder, and my friend (let's call him John) is GMing. For his first time as GM, he is doing a very good job. The thing he set up was a PowerPoint show with four directions: north, south, east, and west. It was kind of like the thing in the original The Legend of Zelda, where you have to go certain directions in a specific order.

Anyway, we get to the last room, and he reads his flavor text:

"You see a treasure chest surrounded by bodies."

That's suspicious enough to someone who's read through the bestiary a few times, but the clip art he chose on the PowerPoint slide? A treasure chest with a face on it.

I immediately blurt out, "It's a mimic."

John hits the table, yells "Dammit!" and everyone starts chattering. Eventually, my character pokes the chest with his rapier, and sure enough, it is alive and fights us.

This was more of a dick move from my end, but I still get a chuckle out of it.



 
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Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
PostPosted: Sep 24 2012 05:35 pm Reply with quote Back to top

This didn't necessarily happen to me, but a bunch of close friends that play D&D constantly.

Every game that one particular person hosts, there's a random encounter in one act of a three act game with a wizard (I forget his name) that rides a Griffon called Pazoozoo. This encounter can be beneficial or can really fuck you over. One time, they were on a dock to go to an island. They had just bought the boat and were beginning to head out, when the wizard shows up riding Pazoozoo and casts Ice Storm at them or some shit.

DM rolled three criticals on it. Killed everyone in the party and destroyed the boat.


https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd.
 
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lordsathien
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
PostPosted: Sep 25 2012 12:57 am Reply with quote Back to top

Drew Linky wrote:
This didn't necessarily happen to me, but a bunch of close friends that play D&D constantly.

Every game that one particular person hosts, there's a random encounter in one act of a three act game with a wizard (I forget his name) that rides a Griffon called Pazoozoo. This encounter can be beneficial or can really fuck you over. One time, they were on a dock to go to an island. They had just bought the boat and were beginning to head out, when the wizard shows up riding Pazoozoo and casts Ice Storm at them or some shit.

DM rolled three criticals on it. Killed everyone in the party and destroyed the boat.

How do you get criticals on a spell without an attack roll?


"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
 
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Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
PostPosted: Sep 25 2012 05:34 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I don't remember what spell it was exactly, it had something to do with ice and it was a pretty high level spell.

I heard this story after the fact, some of the details didn't stick well in my mind.


https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd.
 
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Skinr
Title: Minituae Guru
Joined: Jul 17 2010
Location: Elsinore
PostPosted: Sep 30 2012 11:01 am Reply with quote Back to top

It would have been even funnier if the spell froze all the water so they couldn't sail.



 
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Skinr
Title: Minituae Guru
Joined: Jul 17 2010
Location: Elsinore
PostPosted: Dec 03 2012 11:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yet another necro, but this one is just too good to pass up.

A few weeks ago, we were playing Pathfinder; I was not the GM for once, but playing a Lizardfolk rogue. For those who don't play D&D / Pathfinder, the Lizardfolk are cannibals; this was especially fun for me, as not only did I get to roleplay an unapologetic man-eater (ho ho ho), one of the players in my group is a vegetarian, and they were squirming as I went on for almost five minutes asking the GM about the condition of whatever we killed, and eating it if it was edible.

Anyway, an allied NPC ran off chasing something down a hallway, and we were left to fight a hell-hound; when it was defeated (and, therefore, well done), my Lizardfolk character ate it. The GM only mentioned that I ate the "parts", but what he (and, evidently, the vegetarian) meant was...private parts. The way he explained this to me was "It was a hot dog. Dick." Another literal dick move on the part of a GM.

As if that wasn't funny enough, when we finally caught up to the NPC, he had been roasted alive by a demon. We fought it, and even though we weren't supposed to kill it, I got in a whopping 36 damage on a single attack (1d8+2 base damage x3 + 1d6 backstab damage; highest possible rolls on both dice). I then ate the dead NPC.

Finally, as we left, I took a page from Blackadder II and said, "Farewell, Diogones. You may have only been a second-rate fighter, but you were a first-rate second course."

The GM's response was one word. "Douche."



 
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lordsathien
Title: Head of Lexian R&D
Joined: Oct 15 2005
Location: Metro area, Georgia
PostPosted: Dec 04 2012 12:58 am Reply with quote Back to top

Sounds like a fun time. My only quibble is that with hellhounds being outsiders, it should have blinked away to its home plane the moment it was "slain" which I doubt was the case from your description. Otherwise there's nothing stopping an evil druid from using summon nature's ally spells to put on a feast.


"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!"
 
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