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Choose Your Own Adventures


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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 02:55 am Reply with quote Back to top

I still love these books. I wish they'd make a giant comeback... Despite the DVD market and the internet cutting in on their business. CYOA DVDs are a fun novelty, but don't have the same lasting power as the books. The internet is just plagued by lazy, grammatically-challenged writers and make finding a half decent CYOA nearly impossible.


"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man

"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor

8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh.
 
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Valdronius
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Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 03:05 am Reply with quote Back to top

I've been writing one off and on for a good ten years. I never got around to finishing it unfortunately, but I do have roughly 35 out of 47 chapters written.


Klimbatize wrote:
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd.

 
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Murdar Machene
New Member
Title: bimmy
Joined: Nov 06 2005
Location: the black warriors turf
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 03:08 am Reply with quote Back to top

I liked choose your own adventure books. The only problem was when the writer was a lazy shithead and you kept turning to the same crappy outcomes no matter what you tried out.

Did anyone ever read that one about the magic cave that you go in and it makes you travel through time and space? That one was kinda neat.
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Tebor
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Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 03:33 am Reply with quote Back to top

Murdar Machene wrote:
Did anyone ever read that one about the magic cave that you go in and it makes you travel through time and space? That one was kinda neat.

Replace "magic cave" with something else and you have the plot for about half of those books Razz Laughing


"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man

"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor

8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh.
 
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 03:41 am Reply with quote Back to top

I loved these books so hard.

I used to read all differnet books liek this. I had one where you wer eabducted by mind reading aliens, and one where you were in arabia or somethign and your dad was kidnapped and one where you were a barbarian named arn trying to find his brother, and one where you were a gay elf stuck in a tower and had magic gay elf powers and one where you were wolverine from the X men and you could do some differnet thigns based on how many karma points you had. that one was rad.

I have been tossing the idea to write one of these around for a few months now. I'll probably do it once I clean some projects off my plate.


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Dr. Jeebus
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Title: SLF Harbinger of Death
Joined: Sep 03 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 04:08 am Reply with quote Back to top

Article coming on th ese soon, I swear


dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com - Updated sometimes, but on hiatus!
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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 08:01 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Dead Ends from Rejected “Choose-Your-Own-Adventure” Books


From Code Name: Operation Mongoose:

After some initial misgivings, you decide to authorize the Bay of Pigs invasion. Your policies of economic and diplomatic estrangement have done nothing to weaken Castro’s power, and the whole thing with the mafia and the exploding seashell is making you and the C.I.A. the laughingstock of the foreign intelligence services.

Anyway, what could possibly go wrong? The Cubans want to be liberated from this evil dictator. All you need to do is arm the anti-Castro guerrillas, drop them off, and let them serve as the catalyst for the full-scale revolt that’s bound to occur.

And if anything goes wrong, you can just deny you had any part in it. Bulletproof, you assure yourself.

THE END.
* * *
From Escape from the Yellow Wood:

You wish you could take both roads, but you’re only one person. After a quick flip of a coin, you take the road most traveled by. Its well-trodden look makes the choice even easier: if most people go this way, it must be the right direction. Plus, the other road is a little too grassy, and you hate wood ticks.

After walking for a few minutes, you notice that the yellow wood is beginning to look different. It seems to be taking on a cast of boring predictability. You are tempted to head back to the split and take the other road, but it’s too late. You, like so many others, have chosen the path of conformity, and it will make all the difference.

THE END.
* * *
From You Are a Hollywood D-Lister!:

You decide to defer to Mr. Weisslemann’s experience. He’s been in the business for thirty years, and you are just an Iowa farm girl with big dreams. His insistence that all new starlets make it to the silver screen via the casting couch, and his persistent badgering that you’ll never do anything without doing him first can only be rooted in his deep belief that You Have What It Takes.

It’s just your virginity.

You look up from your folded hands. Mr. Weisslemann is watching, waiting, with a look like the fascination of a fox on a warmer full of new chicks. You sigh and nod. Weisslemann nearly trips over a box of dusty headshots in his rush to paw at you with his sweaty, hairy hands. You squeeze your eyes shut and make the worst decision of your life.

THE END.
* * *
From Prisoner of Minimum Wage:

You decide to ignore your advisor and drop out of the pre-med program.

You spend a few days in boozy, stress-free celebration, then head down to the registrar’s office to declare yourself a philosophy/art-history double-major. When you call your parents and give them the happy news, there is a long silence. Your mother begins to cry.

“After all your mother and I have sacrificed for you,” says your father. You can almost hear his jaw clenching, unclenching. “And this is how you pay us back, you ungrateful little bastard”. He hangs up.

You begin to realize what a mistake you’ve made. Reädmission would be nearly impossible and your scholarship has already been forfeited. You were given a golden opportunity and you threw it away so you could have more time to get stoned.

Way to go, slacker. Hope you like delivering pizzas.




THE END.

* * *
From Danger at Jonestown:

You choose to drink the Kool-Aid. As the convulsions from your cyanide-and-chloral-hydrate cocktail begin, you realize that this is …

THE END.
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Dec 04 2006 10:36 pm Reply with quote Back to top

hahahahah. did you come up with these on your own?


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Knyte
2010 SLF Tag Champ*
Title: Curator Of The VGM
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: Here I am.
PostPosted: Dec 05 2006 12:30 am Reply with quote Back to top

JEW wrote:
hahahahah. did you come up with these on your own?

Just the last one. They were from an old forum I belonged to. I have kept the best one in a "junk" folder on my compy for ages, along with jokes, stories, and anything else that amuses me.
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Gushoshin
Title: guardian of death
Joined: Feb 27 2006
Location: Washington State
PostPosted: Dec 05 2006 06:03 am Reply with quote Back to top

"Give Yourself Goosebumps" were a shameless ripoff, but they were actully fairly gorey and way more scary then the actual "horror" in the regular goosebumps books.


Steve Gavazzi, Marc Green
Jon Sly! It's time to play... WHICH DOUCHEBAG SAID THIS????

"I'm curious -- which mountain climber was used in Cliff Hangers?"


Happy anniversary you fucking wankers!
 
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Dec 05 2006 06:52 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I pride myself on having read every single goosebumps book ever when I was a kid, as well as the boxcar kids.

my favorite give yourself goosebumps book was te one where you were in a wax meuseum where they skinned people.


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Dec 05 2006 07:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

I had all the Boxcar Kids books too. I even made my mom buy me the gay little Boxcar Kids cookbook.
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Gushoshin
Title: guardian of death
Joined: Feb 27 2006
Location: Washington State
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 02:05 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Wrote:
Quote:
I had all the Boxcar Kids books too. I even made my mom buy me the gay little Boxcar Kids cookbook.


..with tips on making purple pool water! Turn to page 34 to learn how to have it so SALT comes out of the sugar shaker!

Cool


Steve Gavazzi, Marc Green
Jon Sly! It's time to play... WHICH DOUCHEBAG SAID THIS????

"I'm curious -- which mountain climber was used in Cliff Hangers?"


Happy anniversary you fucking wankers!
 
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InvisibleTimmy
Title: Superhero
Joined: Aug 26 2006
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 05:32 am Reply with quote Back to top

I hated these books. It's like playing D&D and nobody knows the rules.
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DarkMaze
Title: Ed Glaser
Joined: Feb 24 2006
Location: Champaign, IL
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 10:28 am Reply with quote Back to top

Tell me that someone cashed in on making Choose Your Own Adventure erotica.


Dark Maze Studios - Home of Press Start, Turkish Rambo, Deja View, and further things.
 
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 12:23 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Ha ha ha, that would be awesome.

If you'd like to stick it in her hoo hoo, turn to Page 36.
If you'd like to go to Brown Town, turn to Page 51.
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 02:52 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
I had all the Boxcar Kids books too. I even made my mom buy me the gay little Boxcar Kids cookbook.

I loved how the very first bok in the series wasn't even a mystery. it was jsut a story about homeless kids.


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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 03:27 pm Reply with quote Back to top

It was"The Mystery of Why The Fuck We So Poor".
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Valdronius
Moderator
Title: SydLexia COO
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: The Great White North
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 04:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

DarkMaze wrote:
Tell me that someone cashed in on making Choose Your Own Adventure erotica.

There used to be a shitload of flash CYOA's on Romp.com. No idea if they still exist or not.


Klimbatize wrote:
A Hispanic dude living in Arizona knows a lot of Latinas? That's fucking odd.

 
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DarkMaze
Title: Ed Glaser
Joined: Feb 24 2006
Location: Champaign, IL
PostPosted: Dec 06 2006 04:24 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah, but Flash crosses the line into Game. I was thinking actual books.


Dark Maze Studios - Home of Press Start, Turkish Rambo, Deja View, and further things.
 
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Tebor
Moderator
Title: Master of the Universe
Joined: Aug 22 2005
Location: Gotham City
PostPosted: Dec 07 2006 03:55 am Reply with quote Back to top

DarkMaze wrote:
Tell me that someone cashed in on making Choose Your Own Adventure erotica.

I know that there's two websites dedicated to this genre and that there's iPod stories that are written for such "adventure". So sad... Sad


"If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!!!" -Nuclear Man

"Do you hear? The alpha and the omega. Death and rebirth. And as you die, so will I be reborn!" - Skeletor

8341 unread forum updates since I left (2/7/14)... Uh-oh.
 
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FNJ
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Joined: Jun 07 2006
PostPosted: Dec 07 2006 04:45 am Reply with quote Back to top

Syd Lexia wrote:
It was"The Mystery of Why The Fuck We So Poor".

if they were all black and barefoot it would be the best book cover ever.


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DarkMaze
Title: Ed Glaser
Joined: Feb 24 2006
Location: Champaign, IL
PostPosted: Dec 07 2006 10:29 am Reply with quote Back to top

Tebor wrote:
DarkMaze wrote:
Tell me that someone cashed in on making Choose Your Own Adventure erotica.

I know that there's two websites dedicated to this genre and that there's iPod stories that are written for such "adventure". So sad... Sad

Heh. However, it's still not funny enough unless it's in cheap paperback form with ridiculous cover art. Wink


Dark Maze Studios - Home of Press Start, Turkish Rambo, Deja View, and further things.
 
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Mr. Bomberman
2009 Forum Champion
Title: (still) token black.
Joined: Jan 27 2006
Location: Home of the lost towers
PostPosted: Dec 07 2006 08:38 pm Reply with quote Back to top

JEW wrote:
Syd Lexia wrote:
It was"The Mystery of Why The Fuck We So Poor".

if they were all black and barefoot it would be the best book cover ever.

That's fucked up to the Nth degree.


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Xbox Live: HazNobody, pronounced "HAz". | Haven't went to IRC yet? Go! #sydlexia @ DALnet. | Y'all should play some Super Robot Wars J (hey that rhymes!) | yeah I'm back who gives a shit
 
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jonnymorgue
Title: Nothing Special
Joined: Oct 25 2006
PostPosted: Dec 07 2006 11:05 pm Reply with quote Back to top

This does mean we're going to create the Syd Lexia dot com forums CYOA, right?

There are a couple CYOAs over at kuro5hin.org. This one's old, but it about suffocated one of my co-workers:

http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/9/6/34041/87727
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