SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - Joey Styles is the greatest person in the universe

Posted: May 02 2006 01:08 pm

This is from last night's edition of WWE RAW, it was quite possibly the greatest speech ever. Joey Styles totally shits on Vince McMahon's product. I know it's a worked shoot, but it's still awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPWv_6A7VtE&search=joey%20styles

EDIT - The above video link doesn't work anymore. Try this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCHQVCkjCWU

Here's the transcript for anyone too lazy to watch it:

You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you. I'm not coming back, and now thanks to the magic of live television I'm gonna show the whole world, why for seven years in ECW I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary. Six months ago, WWE called ME. I didn't call this company because I was looking for a job; I didn't need a job. WWE called ME because they had humiliated and fired, again, Jim Ross. So I get JR's spot, and from WEEK ONE, week after week I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say pro wrestling, I'm not allowed to say wrestler. I have to say sports entertainment and refer to the wrestlers as superstars. I'm told to deliberant IGNORE the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well ignoring the moves and the holds is DAMN INSULTING to the athletes, the WRESTLERS, not the entertainers who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in that ring. Here's the best part, because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller I get pulled from Wrestlemania, and the reason I'm given is, is because I don't sound like Jim Ross who's the guy they fired in the first place. That makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I'm a company guy. I get bumped from Wrestlemania. Then I get bumped from BACKLASH!? I'm not good enough to call BACKLASH!? In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before me, hasn't been done since. But I'm not good enough to call Backlash because I'm not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well you know what? I am SICK of sports entertainment. I am SICK of male cheerleaders. I am SICK of boogers and bathroom humor and semen and I am SICK of our chairman. Who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God, he MOCK GOD, and makes out with the divas, all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! I never needed this job, and I don't want this job anymore. I QUIT!

Posted: May 02 2006 03:23 pm

That's some serious pwnage!!!

Actually, that's a cool way to leave a show. I wish David Lynch had done something like that on "Twin Peaks". Or David Duchovny on the X-Files.

Posted: May 02 2006 03:27 pm

Even though it's a worked shoot, I'm still surprised they had him say all that. I thought all of RAW last night was very enjoyable, one of the best I've seen in a while. Only bad part is that it looks like their taking Edge out of the main event picture. I want to see him as the Champion again, since he's my favorite wrestler and I've liked him since his Brood days. Oh well, hopefully he will win it again soon enough.

Posted: May 02 2006 06:21 pm

I liked Edge during the Brood days, but I hated him as Champion. It actually made me miss seeing Hungry Hungry Helmsley wearing the belt.

Posted: May 02 2006 09:16 pm

Fuck man, that was awesome.

Joined: Jun 01 2006 Posts: 70

I know this is an old topic but im bumping to add more for any who havent heard, WWE actually ok'd what Styles said. Am I the only one who saw a problem with this, I loved what Joey said, it was great, but that fact that the WWE uncreative team ok'd it is mind boggling lol.

Posted: Jun 03 2006 01:59 am

They'll probably bring him back to voice ECW again. After all, they did say on Raw that he had signed a 5 year contract. And as much conviction as Mr. Styles may have, quitting a 5 year contract would be very, very expensive.

Joined: Jun 01 2006 Posts: 70

Valdronius wrote:

They'll probably bring him back to voice ECW again. After all, they did say on Raw that he had signed a 5 year contract. And as much conviction as Mr. Styles may have, quitting a 5 year contract would be very, very expensive.

From everything I've read so far its gonna be Joey and Tazz doing the commentary for ECW. I couldn't be happier, he's my second favorite commentator, right next to Bobby Heenan.

Posted: Jun 03 2006 06:03 am

Someone told me ECW is going to air on the Sci-Fi Channel? Anyone know if this is true? As much as I like ECW, I am getting real fucking sick of channels (G4, MTV2) abandoning their niche programming in favor of airing whatever the fuck they think will make money.

Joined: Jun 01 2006 Posts: 70

ECW is gonna be on Sci-Fi starting June 13th, WWE.com had an announcement about it like a week ago but they took it down.

Posted: Jun 03 2006 06:32 pm

shadowforce420 wrote:

From everything I've read so far its gonna be Joey and Tazz doing the commentary for ECW. I couldn't be happier, he's my second favorite commentator, right next to Bobby Heenan.

There will never be an announce team better than Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. NEVER. GOING. TO. HAPPEN.

Posted: Jun 04 2006 01:22 am

Apparenlty Sci-Fi has requested that ECW add some aliens or robots to the show.

Posted: Jun 04 2006 06:19 am

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

Apparenlty Sci-Fi has requested that ECW add some aliens or robots to the show.

Well, you should clarify that that wasn't part of the original agreement. However backlash from Sci-Fi's core audience of PEOPLE WHO ENJOY HORROR AND SCIENCE FICTION have apparently complained heavily about ECW airing on the network so now Sci-Fi wants them to add some random sci-fi stuff so that they can justify airing it.

Joined: Feb 24 2006 Posts: 2578

Syd Lexia wrote:

Dr. Jeebus wrote:

Apparenlty Sci-Fi has requested that ECW add some aliens or robots to the show.

Well, you should clarify that that wasn't part of the original agreement. However backlash from Sci-Fi's core audience of PEOPLE WHO ENJOY HORROR AND SCIENCE FICTION have apparently complained heavily about ECW airing on the network so now Sci-Fi wants them to add some random sci-fi stuff so that they can justify airing it.

My vote's in for adding Sektor and Cyrax.

Posted: Jun 04 2006 03:21 pm

I think they should add in parody of Agent Fox Mulder from the X-Files. He could be Faux Mullet. (Faux would be pronounced as Fox.)